Sticky situation. How do I deal with a mom who always plays the victim and never admits her faults, even though she starts conflicts?

I moved back in with my mom to save money, while my house is being built.  I thought it would only be for 6 months but construction has been halted several times, due to the weather.  Now it's looking like it'll be another year with a lot of workers contracting covid.

The issue is that my mom gets an attitude about anything really.  If I try getting to the bottom of it, she'll tell me that I have an attitude, am mean and hold on to too much stuff from the past.  Yet, she's the one who constantly brings up stuff my dad did to her 40 + years ago.  Then she acts like the victim and walks around telling me that I'm mean, hours after we get into it.  I don't respond because I don't want to get into it anymore.  Then a week will pass and it's the same thing again. 

For instance, she is not technology savvy at all; no texting and hardly knows how to navigate a computer screen.  She asks me for help and as I'm trying to tell her what to do, she starts getting angry because the computer is slow and what she's clicking on isn't doing anything.  The more I try to give instructions, the more she gets frustrated with me.  So now when she asks me questions (which I don't know why she continues to ask), I just ignore her or act like I'm busy.  She still doesn't get it though and and thinks I'm the problem.  

So why is she like this?  Why does she always play the victim?  Why does she start conflicts and then gets mad when her wrongdoings are told to her?  

1 Answer

  • 1 month ago

    Sounds like you may have over stayed your welcome. Six months becoming longer didn't just happen to you! It's happened to her too in her home with her adult daughter. And you're talking another YEAR for your own convenience since you don't want to rent somewhere? She might be the victim.

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