Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 month ago

how do you punish your kid after you already took away all their electronics and allowance? ?

my son is twelve and is on his worst behavior now and he says there is nothing I can do since I already took away his electronics and allowance. I can not ground him because he will just sneak out.  What can I do, I can't spank him because social services have already been to our house 

9 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    How exactly does he manage to sneak out if you're watching him?  Why has social services already been to your house?  (And why would you think spanking would work on any child, much less a 12 year old?)

    If you're actually the parent in this scenario, which is highly doubtful, you should've been teaching proper respect and behavior long before now.

  • 4 weeks ago

    I had a daughter who was absolutely vile when she hit 15 years. A once happy easy going kid that I had a great relationship with. Once she started high school she became a foul name calling bit*h who stayed out after school even tho we agreed she'd go straight home, so I could call her from work to be sure she was safe. In the end we had a massive fight and I kicked her out. Years later, I was working with some young girls (19+) who were talking about how they were as teenagers. One of the girls shocked me when she told us how she lied through her teeth and put her parents through hell. She seemed totally incapable of such vile behaviour!  Then the other girls joined in with their own stories.  They all agreed it was the surge of puberty hormones! I felt horrified listening to this and remembering my daughter and how I treated her. Maybe you can consult a doctor (on your own) and ask them? Then ask to bring your son in to have the doctor explain to them what is happening to his body? BTW - While my daughter was going through this, she also had a smart ar*se friend at school goading her on . . .  Have a look at that as well.  TRY HARDER - I'd like to say what happened to me - so you can get off your judgemental high horse! One of my other kids used to sneak out of the house via her bedroom window, after we had all gone to bed. It was only years later that I found out she lost her virginity at 13! Kids can get very sneaky - especially if they're listening to the school 'know it all'! The kids and I went to mass every week - AND we prayed together every week as well. I talked to my kids and they all knew they could talk to me about whatever they wanted. Some kids are just ungrateful brats - don't always blame the parents!! 

  • Isabel
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Perhaps punishment isn’t the correct response.  Have you tried maintaining a consistent schedule with consistent expectations and clear communication?  Reducing conflict in the household?

  • denise
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    No TV, send him to bed early?

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  • 1 month ago

    I mean, really there isn't anything you can do... if you've got a kid who just doesn't care about rewards or punishments, you have to work on the relationship rather than trying to overpower them. I've got a son like that as well who is almost 11 years old, he just does not care what privilege he loses, he will proudly sit in a completely empty room rather than comply in exchange for stuff. Grounding? Doesn't care, he'll sit and do nothing. So I have to put effort into having a relationship with him, letting him tell me his side of things, collaborative-problem solving, etc. 

  • edward
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    He wants CFS to take him away?  Let them.  He’ll figure out soon enough he’s better off at home

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This is a load of baloney.  You've posted this several times with alterations in each version.  You cannot even keep your own story straight.  There is no way any parent is going to ask random strangers over an internet chat board how to properly parent a delinquent child.  FYI, you would have been advised by social services had this situation been real and both you and the child would be in therapy.  Troll better next time.

  • 1 month ago

    Send him away to a military school.  Better yet, have him diagnosed to see if he's not autistic.  Incorrigible kids have been found to suffer from what was once called Asperger's syndrome.  That can be corrected if diagnosed and worked on early enough.

  • Kerri
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Whatever it is you want him to do, make him do it.  Won't brush his teeth?  Take him in the bathroom and brush his teeth for him.  Won't pick up his room?  Pick up his stuff, put it in a trash bag, and take it to the dump  Won't wash his clothes?  Strip him naked and put his clothes in the wash.  Ultimately, he can live like a Spartan slave or he can behave.  His choice.  But YOU have to have the discipline to make him do what you want, so pick your battles carefully, and be sure to win every battle.

    Spanking your child is legal in most jurisdictions.  But 12 is too old for spanking.  You have to be stronger than him or you are lost.

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