Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 weeks ago

How would you handle miscommunication with parents?

I'm a middle-aged adult and live pretty far away from my parents, although I used to visit them often.  After my last visit, my mother emailed me and told me to "take a break" from visiting.  So I haven't visited in months.

My mother just now asked about Thanksgiving plans, and I told her that due to Covid-19 quarantine requirements, traveling for Thanksgiving is not an option (as I'd have to stay in quarantine both at her house and back at mine).  I also reminded her that she had told me to "take a break" from visiting.

As always, she blew up at me, telling me that I'm "wrong" and that I should have known that being told to "take a break" was for my own good and that no parent could ever love a child as much as she does.

So, as always, I'm "wrong", there's no apology for any hurt feelings that I had, and that she's martyr with all that she's done for me.

Obviously I can't blow off a parent who goes on and on like that. I really dislike dealing with drama, but when my parents are in their graves I don't want to have regrets.  But I am irked with my parents and really don't want to see them.

How would you respond to her in this case?


6 Answers

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago
    Favourite answer

    Why are you still obsessing over this?  You have a valid reason why you don't want to travel home for Thanksgiving.  You don't need to respond to your mom.  Don't contact them for now.  When your parents contact you again, you decide when and if you want to respond.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Your multiple questions, your obsession with this, are troubling.

    If your mother is toxic, stay away from her.  If you don't want to visit over Thanksgiving, don't visit over Thanksgiving.

    You have posted you are middle age.  At what point do you plan to live your own life.

    My mother is toxic.  I know everything would be an argument.  I don't visit over Thanksgiving or any other holiday.  It's just that simple.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Grow up and apologize for the miscommunication.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    thats up to you if you want to go or not

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Do not go to them...You do not need to deal with their mental problems. You do not even have to be at the grave sites either. These are toxic people. Change your number so they leave you alone. Go and live a happy life, forget about them. I have cut family out of my life,and I have never been happier, and I do not miss any of them at all.

  • Robert
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    I would not have brought up the "take a break" and have kept the conversation on the Covid quarantine promising a visit when it is safe to do so.  Those are statements that can not be argued.   Now I would just let it lie for a while and at a future call tell them you are looking forward to a visit when it is safe to do so and leave it at that.

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