Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 weeks ago

What is a good reason to get out of a family gathering?

My family is highly dysfunctional. My mom is distant from 4 out of her 9 children including me for the moment. We all have the same mom and dad. She is always talking **** about my older sisters. I usually choose to stay out of it. There has been a recent death in the family. The situation really opened my eyes I want to start building relationships with my older siblings. I told my sister I’d go to her baby shower on Saturday after work. But my mom gets jealous when I see other members of my family and now really isn’t the best time to stir up drama between my mom and I. Regardless I don’t even see myself enjoying the baby shower I was just going for the sake of my sister. I made her a baby blanket and got her a gift already. I need help generating an authentic reason other than car problems or I’m sick. I don’t want my mom getting wind that I was there because last time she freaked out. Right now she isn’t talking to me and I am not trying to make things worse but fix things. 

I can tell my sister the truth because she gossips too much.

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago
    Favourite answer

    Your relationship with your mom, you and other siblings is toxic, to say the least.  You mentioned trying to rebuild your relationships with your siblings.  Go to the shower and have a good time.  So what if your mommy gets upset, your relationship with her is strained anyway, going to the baby shower won't change that.  Don't talk to your mom.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Just go. Let your mother "freak out". You should have your own relationship with your sister; your mother doesn't need to be part of it.

    Just go. Your sister will be around longer than your toxic mother. You don't need to TELL your mother you're going, but if she finds out, don't get all emotional. Say, "Yes, I thought I'd like to see my sister a bit more and give her a gift for the baby. Now then, is it time for a cup of tea?" and talk about something else. She can only cause a drama between you and her if you ALLOW her to.

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