Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Is this a normal feeling to hate my mom so much that I never want to see her again but I still love her.?

She was an amazing mother when I was a child. She was my everything and I connected deeply with her. My dad was around but he basically did nothing so I never considered my dad as a father. I loved my mom so much because she was the one always loving me and saving me from my bullies. As time went on, she started showing her true colors. She's very manipulative and abusive. She loves her sons more than her daughters. I was basically her personal slave along with my two twin sisters. My 2 younger brothers were always treated like kings. They never did any chores or nothing. She made me and my sisters clean after them because they were her kings and she loves them. Anyways, shes extremely manipulative. She holds so much hate in her heart and evvys other people's happiness. When my dad's sister got pregnant after having fertility issues, my selfish mother kept praying the baby dies at birth. She even wished it was a girl baby because she doesn't deserve a boy. She has a lot of hate for everyone and she wouldn't stop talking about other people. Its always the same subject, talking about other peoples lives and wishing bad on them. I started dating one day and my mom was happy. She literally told my bf that he should man up and take control of me and impregnate me. My bf raped me because of her manipulating him. I left my bf without getting police involved and I left 7 hours away to get away from my mom and forget about that life. She still keeps texting me and asking


If I have anyone to impregnate me because she wants to be a grandma. I leave her on ignored and its been 3 years. I never want to see her again or go back there but sometimes I really miss her. I NEVER want to see her again in my life or face her. Itll be too awkward and emotional to face her now and I dont want to do it. But I still think of her and miss her. Are these normal feelings? I cant make up my mind but I know I never want to see her again. I don't understand what I'm feeling...

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This is best discussed with a therapist, not with strangers on an internet message board.  You were raped and never filed a Police Report?  And you blame your MOTHER for the rape?  Really?

    My mother is toxic.  I haven't had contact in 9 years.  I don't hate her.  I don't love her.  She's just another person who used to be in my life.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You could benefit from talking with a therapist for help in handling your understandably mixed feelings about your mother. That said, you seem to be handling your relationship with her and your life remarkably well. Give yourself credit and treat yourself to a night out with your friends. Unwind and have fun.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    not really but it happens

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You need to change your number,and block her on everything. Keep that nut out of your life. You should of had the rapist jailed. Im happy to hear you are far from her, hope she does not have your address. But, if she does, and mails anything to you, do not open it, cross out your name/address mark it return to sender...let mom see it that you do not want here in your life.

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  • 1 month ago

    Your mom is a narcissist. That woman only cares about herself. It reminds me of my mom. Is your mother Muslim/arab in any way? It sounds a lot like it.

    I was forced into marriage by both my parents. I was beaten on my wedding day and married off to my cousin. I stayed in the marriage just to keep my family happy. They kept calling only to ask if I'm pregnant or not. They did not care about how I was feeling, or how suicidal I was and how much I truly hated myself. I secretly took birth control and after suffering for an entire year, I called it quits and ran away. I had to say F it and go on because I'm the one suffering. My mom was sleeping peacefully at night and I was the one up and suffering, thinking of how I should just end my own life. I'm an ex muslim now and I'm living my life the way I want now. I'm 24 and I'm working but I haven't healed entirely even though it's been 5 years.

    DO NOT ever go and see your mom. She will guilt you again and you will feel bad. Its normal to miss your mom. I miss my mom too. But you shouldn't allow such people back into your life. They will keep making you miserable. Its either her way or the highway so you will be guilted into feeling bad for her again. I understand how you feel because I was in a similar situation due to my over religious parents who only cared for their image. You should never see her again. But at the same time, its your choice. Make the right choice for yourself because I cant sit here and tell you what to do. Good luck.

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