Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 weeks ago

I know I was wrong to have an affair on my husband but do you think this man purposely destroyed my marriage ?

About an year an old college classmate messsged me out of the blue. I knew I should have never messaged him back but it started off innocent.he was asking me about my life and how I was. I told him to be honest not good I’m stressed out because me and my husband was going through financial difficulties and it was causing us to be at each other’s neck constantly. Then we started talking more and more and more and laughing together and smiling together. It was nice to have that escape from reality. He was comforting. Then all of a sudden he’s telling me “I’m going to block you anymore unless you send me explicit pictures”... I had my mind made up right then and there that I would end the friendship but I desperately needed his advice and comfort as I felt that me and my husband were in a rough patch. Then the dude started talking  about how he wants me to come over his house and kiss him. I said I can’t do that I’m married.. he keeps pressing the issue and pushing it and I continually say I’m married.. he wanted me to meet up for dinner and again I said I’m married he kept saying I’m a slave to my husband... couple days later me and my hhs and got in a huge fight and he walked out and I didn’t think he was going to come back I was feeling vulnerable and emotional and when that dude asked me to have sex with him... I gave in.. he kept telling me that my husband didn’t deserve me and that he would never treat me like. I truly regret it because he has made live a living hell.. 

Update:

I told him to promise not to tell my husband anything or anyone about this and he said “ I’m only keeping this a secret if you keep having sex with me 

Update 2:

I told him this was a mistake I love my husband my head was spinning I couldn’t believe what I had just done. 

Update 3:

He told me “ it’s not over until I say it’s over.. and he continued to harass me and stalk me so much..” and when I didn’t bend to his demands he told me he was telling my husband. He told my husband everything and it destroyed our marriage my husband is filing for divorce..

19 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    It sounds like the marriage was on the way to being over, you just sealed the deal.

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Tell your husband what you did before the other guy does.  YOU chose to cheat - don't blame the old boyfriend.  What he did was wrong and as soon as it turn to sexual tones, I would have blocked him and end of story.  YOU chose to continue it.  Accept the divorce - you messed up.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Hell yea, cheating is the worst thing to do in a marriage. if you truly loved him you wouldn't have done it. I'm an atheist and I hope you burn in hell.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    yes, I think he destroyed your marriage on purpose.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Marriage is over rated

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    It does sound like he was using you to work through some old wound he believes you inflicted on him. I wonder if he felt "friend zoned" by you in youth and has just never managed to work through that. Guys like this are dangerous because women often don't even realize it when someone pretends to be a friend but is really harboring sexual thoughts. They get angry when you can't read their minds and respond to their internal desires. This is a bad situation all around. I'm sorry. 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    If the roles were reversed the women stay. Have you tried begging for forgiveness? Men love harder and forgive less. I almost had the same mistake but only because my man cheated i never got to cheating but he was so furious. It was inevitable just twl yourself it was the last straw and might not have lasted anyways. Please answer mine

  • 3 weeks ago

    Oh dear. The rotten man blackmailed you and then ratted on you. That said, you had sex with someone you didn't know which seems to have ruined a marriage that was unlikely to last much longer anyway. Make sure you get a good lawyer!

  • John P
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    He purposely set out to satisfy his own desires, and if the consequence was that your life was destroyed then he did not care.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    No, you destroyed it.  It takes 2, and you agreed .

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