Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Should I let bygones be bygones as an older sister?

My younger sister (2-year gap) and I have been close for years when we were in our 30s. Now in our 40s, there has been a gap due to jealousy, pride, and betrayal. My sister is single and has been dependent on my parents for a long time even until now. She lives with them. I have helped her in the past to get a job, drove to her apartment in the middle of the night because she complained she was having difficulty breathing in turned out it was nothing because she also had an older roommate with her. Whenever I visit my parents, she does not want to bond or do something together. When we were at a gathering, she was aloof towards me. She will go out with my brother and his family. Her reason for not inviting me is based on her assumption that I already have somewhere to go or am busy with other things. She treats our sister-in-law like a real sister even though she confided in me not too long ago that she hated her and she wished she wasn't our sister in law. Looking back, I think she was setting me up to dislike our sister in law by saying bad things about her. Now, they are close more than ever. This was the ultimate sign of betrayal to me. I find the whole set-up toxic that I have stayed away from them. I have not spoken to her for almost a year. Now that we are older, and we don't know what tomorrow brings I want to bridge that gap. The problem is, as I said, my sister is a two-face. I am afraid to look stupid and trust her again. She has shown no loyalty towards me.  

6 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    If you would not let bygones be bygones without any blood relationship then do not. Best to keep a neutral relationship with her.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    thats up to you

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Stay away from her. just because you are blood, does not mean you have to be friends or even civil to each other.

  • .
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    You should write her a letter or email explaining how you feel. Maybe she feels jealous of you. 

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  • Liz
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    You might be interested in reading the article on the website below. It offers practical, scriptural suggestions for dealing with others in a peaceful manner.

    Source(s): 12/1 ‘Continue Forgiving One Another Freely’
  • 1 month ago

    You will always be sisters, of course. 

    Why not invite her to go somewhere nice for half a day - just the two of you. No doubt you love her (even if not all of her behaviour), so tell her that you miss her companionship and the times you used to have. Alternatively invite her round more often (maybe your husband hs some nice single friends he can introduce her to!), or suggest you both take your parents out for the day somewhere.

    Good Luck! 

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