Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 month ago

When it comes to child discipline, should spanking be an option?

When I was a kid, me and my step brother was whipped a lot with a belt for things like: school detentions, bad report cards, breaking something and things similar to that. Now I’m an adult, and I feel once I have children of my own, I don’t know what I would do when there is a discipline issue  

34 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    No it should never be an option.  Punishment in general should not be an option.  I work w/ children and I never punish them even when they misbehave.  I have them apologize and then we move on

  • 1 month ago

    I believe that: A) Spankings should only be done in extreme cases, B) As a last resort and C) From a certain age to a certain age (i.e., 4 to 11)

    That said, different people have different parenting methods. Whereas I would use a belt on my child for getting in trouble at school, some people would prefer to use groundings. Use your best judgment. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    First, for LynnMarie: If you want to teach your kids to hate the sport of table tennis permanently, then go ahead and whack them on the a** with a table tennis paddle over and over again. My stepdad did that to me repeatedly while I was growing up, and the only thing he ever taught me by doing so was to hate the sport of table tennis- which I still do, decades later. I have a permanent hatred for that sport and everything connected with it, and I always will, because I associate it with cruelty and pain.Table tennis paddles AREN'T weapons, nor were they ever intended to be used as paddles. If they are wielded with enough force, the way they were with me, they will break. That never stopped my stepdad- he just took another paddle from the same set and kept right on going. I eventually lost count of how many table tennis paddle and ball sets that my family went through before I finally graduated from high school and left for college. (The abuse continued until I was nearly 20 years old. After that, he became too ill to hurt me anymore.)

    By the same token, spanking and physical punishments should NEVER be used, or if by some chance they are used,they should be the option of LAST RESORT. Spanking and physical discipline sends a lot of really BAD MESSAGES to kids, and it teaches them a lot of bad lessons. For one thing, spanking sends the message that HITTING PEOPLE is the best way to solve problems. It also tells kids that it's okay to be VIOLENT and aggressive towards anyone they don't like. And worst of all, it DOESN'T change or improve behavior. In fact, it does just the opposite, because it's VERY HYPOCRITICAL in nature. When parents and adult caregivers use spanking or paddling as discipline, they are taking a "do as I SAY but NOT as I DO" approach, and they contradict themselves with every blow they land. The kids on the receiving end of such abuse generally have no trouble whatsoever picking up on this hypocritical, mixed message, and the great majority of them RESENT IT, just as their PARENTS WOULD if the situation were reversed and THEY were the ones who were being hit. Nobody EVER deserves to be hit or hurt, and there are far better ways to solve problems and improve behavior than resorting to violence.

    One other point about spanking to consider: There is a well documented association between repeated spanking and paddling and MENTAL ILLNESS- and an equally well documented association between spanking and BULLYING. Kids who get spanked repeatedly are at risk of serious mental illness, and because spanking sends the message that violence and violent behavior are acceptable, such kids are also at risk of VIOLENCE themselves, including but not limited to things like school shootings. Spanking is also a sign of serious mental and emotional immaturity in the parents and adults who resort to such tactics. There are reasons, folks, why corporal punishments like spanking and paddling have been banned in 31 US states. Some of these same states, such as Michigan, have taken the ban a step further and have also outlawed parental spanking as a form of discipline. All of the 19 states where school based corporal punishment is still legal are in the deep South, with the exception of Indiana, the only Midwestern state that still permits it. Texas is the worst of these, by far. That state actually has a clause in its legal code which permits parents to REQUEST that their children be paddled at least once every semester of each school year, regardless of whether or not the child or teen has done anything to warrant such abuse. As long as the request is made through proper channels, it will be carried out- and the children and teens have no say in the matter. If you don't want  your kid paddled at school, don't live in Texas !!!

  • 1 month ago

    So it sounds like you're questioning whether you should follow your folks' style when it comes to parenting your own children someday. I've always been told it's best to follow their example when it comes to any parenting techniques that benefitted you in the long run, while dropping anything that was ineffective or even harmful.

    Being blunt here, but whipping a kid for a bad report card is crummy, LAZY parenting! Which actually helps your kid? "He failed math, Imma hit him!" or monitoring your kid's grades from the beginning of the semester, setting aside time to study with him, helping him by checking his homework, even enlisting the teacher's help if he's still struggling, etc. The latter choice takes more effort but it teaches your kid to take pride in his work for its own sake and hopefully he gains confidence, versus living in fear he's going to be hit for a problem he may not be able to solve on his own.

    There are lots of great parenting guides online, books and even classes to take. I'm 42 with five sons and I'm still learning new things! It's never too early to read up on parenting, either. I was probably a little weird but I read a few books when I was in school and quite single. 

    Maybe when you're starting a family someday, contact your local children & family services and explain that you were brought up in a family that used physical discipline for nearly every offense and that you don't want to repeat this style of parenting, but you could use some guidance on alternative parenting and discipline techniques. They'd probably be thrilled to share resources with you!

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  • garry
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    spanking no , but one hit is more than enough , if you cant scare kids with your voice them you have a problem , you must be an idiot .

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don’t know how children learn anything from violence. 

    A good parent can discipline  and set boundaries and rules with hitting their child.

    All you have learn is to hit and be vilolent.

  • 1 month ago

    Proverbs 13:24

    Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

  • 1 month ago

    YES!!!  However, it should be the mother who does the spanking. Reason ; a woman's hand is lighter than a man's hand. 

    The Biblical advice is 'Spare the rod , and you spoil the child'. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    The libertarian in me says we shouldn't be making things illegal unless the behavior is causing harm to a child.   We already have laws against abuse so more laws would be redundant and unnecessary.

    I personally believe there are more effective ways of disciplining a child than spanking.  I also question the wisdom of adults teaching children that the way to solve a problem is to hit someone.    I don't want my boss hitting me if I do something wrong and I don't think adult should pick on kids that way either.

    "I don’t know what I would do when there is a discipline issue"   We all know you're a troll, but for the benefit of others, I highly recommend taking a Parent Effectiveness Training class. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Absolutely.  It worked for my parents and it worked for us raising our seven kids.

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