If you ask one should you ask both?

My husband is 51 years old and there is this younger girl on his job, around 30 or so, that was hired a little less than a year ago.  Back when everyone was in the office my husband and this girl apparently got to be really good friends.  So much so that when Covid hit and we all started working from home she's call or text him asking for help setting up her workstation or to talk about work.  Yeah, he was partially responsible for training her.  Well, he informed me the other day that she had apparently asked him to be her unborn child's god-father.  This is her 3rd child from what he's telling me.  I thought that was sort of strange since they are just co-workers.  But when I asked if she wanted me to be the child's god-mother he said "no because she doesn't know you like that.  She's never even spoken to you."  In speaking with several other people most of them have said that it does seem strange that she would ask him and not me given that we're married.  While others have said you don't have to ask the spouse simply because you ask one person.  I just think that to keep everything above board my husband should have introduced me to this girl so I could understand their relationship and to find out why she wants him to be her child's god-father.  Am I wrong to think that if you ask one you need to ask both?

13 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Obviously, she appreciates the assistance she's received from your husband and, in her mind, she's considering it an honor to be named God-Father to her child. Also, it's normal to ask someone other than the wife of the God-Father to be God-Mother. I wouldn't get worked up over what is probably nohing.

  • 1 month ago

    "Something is not right...said Miss Clavelle, in the middle of the night!" (Quote from Madeleine, a childrens' book). This is a highly inappropriate liason between your husband and his co-worker.  Forget about the issue of becoming the godmother, ask your husband why he's being approached to be a godfather.  His only acceptable response to her is a very plain and clear "No". And watch what else is happening between them, while you're at it.  This is now your 1102nd reply. Could it be that you are manufacturing a "hypothetical situation" rather than a real one? Amusement comes in many forms.

  • 1 month ago

    @Foofa,

    So the fact that this guy is an older co-worker whom she apparently likes and has formed a friendship with, that should disqualify him as a god-father?  Maybe she sees him as a mentor or a good influence to her that could be passed down to her unborn child.  Why should or does a god-parent be someone that a person has known all their lives?  

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It's not the case that the godfather and mother always have to be a couple. But if this is a single person having her third child and is so bereft of real friends that she's latching on to a coworker to be her child's godfather, that's just really sad. 

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  • 1 month ago

    She is friends with you, not him, so yes, you're wrong for thinking that

  • 1 month ago

    @ Philosophy, you stated that "it's actually inappropriate to ask a coworker that you are not even friends with to be a god father to your child."  Well, it seems to me that this girl and the OP's husband were friends, especially since they are co-workers and correspond with each other quite a bit so I don't see the problem.  Now had she met the wife and the first time meeting her she asked her to be her child's god-mother then that would be inappropriate.  She has no relationship with the wife so no need in asking her.  She asked the husband whom she does have a friendship with.  So what's the problem?

  • 1 month ago

    it's actually inappropriate to ask a coworker that you are not even friends with to be a god father to your child. 

  • 1 month ago

    All your long and involved questions stink of troll

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I think your perspective is wrong. That would be like saying if his brother got married and asked him to be the best man you should by default be the maid of honor even though you’ve never met the bride. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you are a joined at the hip package deal for everything. After all, if that was the case you would have attended your step daughters gender reveal party. 

    I think it would be appropriate for him to decline, but I think it’s inappropriate for you to expect to be the godmother for the child of a woman you’ve never even met.

  • 1 month ago

    There is no necessity to ask you to be a godmother.  That she knows nothing about you seems a sensible enough reason to me.  But it is clearly upsetting you, so your husband should decline to be a godfather.  It is largely a trivial matter these days, I never even knew who my godparents were, and they played no role whatever in my life.  I think it is the same for most people.  It is an arcane ritual, of no actual significance.

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