Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Was I a mistake?

My parents had me at ages 19 and 20. I don’t remember them ever being together and have asked dad about it many times. He has always answered the same; they were young and he doesn’t live with us because he is not a good father.

I think my dad is good. I’m 14 now and I still don’t understand the situation. Why does he mean by ” We were young.”?

5 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Probably at least on your father's part. "Young" to have the responsibility of a child is pretty much anything under about 25. So yeah, they were young. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    probably that they didnt have a lot of experience to be parents

  • art
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    dont think of yourself as a 'mistake' think of yourself as a surprise (hopefully a happy surprise)

  • bubula
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Children are all too quick to blame themselves for things completely out of their control. Your father, speaking for both your mother and himself, was explaining to you that their relationship was a mistake--that they weren't mature enough to choose     a more appropriate partner or find the resources to make the relationship last. Because they were young and largely unthinking, they had sex without contraception and without a plan for the possible consequence of pregnancy. It's up to you whether you want to call this a mistake on their part or whether you want to label yourself a mistake, but neither is a healthy label. All of you may wish things had turned out differently, but all that matters is here you are. All of you. You have a father who is honest with you, a mother who didn't give up on you, and you have, if you want it, a good life and a good partnership ahead of you. Learning from all this could make you the excellent parent of a truly wanted child--your way of paying it forward.

    Best of luck.

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  • y
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    A mistake? All depend on what they did after the oops. The majority of kids are not planned, does not mean they were mistakes. They are loved by their parents, very few parents ever regret having the kid, kids bring so much into our lives that even the thought of they were a mistake, by the kids or others. Makes us upset that even entered their minds. 

    Parents were young and stupid once too, they were not alwasy what their kids see. In my case(kids 28 and 19 now). I am a completely different person from before they were born.  I was impulsive, some would say nuts/crazy, always on the go, trying new usually dangerous things, skirted on the edge of the law.  All the kids have ever seen is boring, stable, always there for them, always law abiding and doing things by the "rules". I did many thing prior to them that I am not proud of, I was selfish and on occasion, an ***. Not a nice person.  They have never seen that side.

    I'm guessing, the same is true for your dad, possible your mom, after all, she was with your dad for however long.

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