Anonymous

My same sex friend keeps cheating on her boyfriend with me I'm so confused- does it mean anything?

I'm 21 she 24. It first happened a few months ago when we were drunk together and both of us since realised we were bisexual. She told me she didn't regret what we did even though she had cheated, she wanted to sleep with me again and at first i was really unsure and felt guilty about doing it but i soon realised over the months i have really deep feelings for her that are so strong it's taken over any guilt i had. I found her crying one day a month ago now after she'd had a domestic with her boyfriend. I comforted her and she kissed me and we've been having a affair behind his back ever since. I know this is wrong but i have sex with her cos i love her. She really does mean a lot to me. But I'm confused whether she genuinely loves me or this is just sex and means nothing, we've got a really strong bond but i don't know if this is just a experiment to her. I can't ask her cos she gets pissed off every time i question it and i don't wanna lose her but what does it seem like? Help please

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Maybe she is afraid to talk about it.  If this is the first time for both of you, it could be difficult for both.  Talking about it makes it real.  Maybe she is afraid to face any judgements & is afraid to come out.  Maybe she likes having secretes.  Many people are afraid to face their own lives.  Fear of judgement is a biggie.

  • 4 weeks ago

    As she's still with her boyfriend, I would almost say for certain that she's a bi-sexual who is in love with her boyfriend and also enjoys a woman on the side in the same manner that some married women enjoy a casual affair with other guys. I wouldn't recommend getting seriously involved with someone who is using you for this.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You will either be a side trick or you will tell her what you think.

    If a man posted this he would be told to move on.  I have no idea why it's different for women.

    So, again, you're a side trick.

  • 1 month ago

    I think maybe she's confused too. Probably just as much as you are and that might be why she gets so frustrated when you ask that question "Am I just an experiment?" she's cheating on her boyfriend with you and it sounds like she's getting feelings for you but at the same time she's still attached to him and still in love with him. It honestly sounds like she's feeling stuck. She can't answer your question because she doesn't even know what she wants. If she did she would have made her choice.

     But you probably need to leave her alone because her being confused and dragging you along is only gonna hurt you the longer you hold on. It's also gonna affect both of your reputations because its eventually gonna get out that neither of you are faithful people. You'll be pegged as a homewrecker, she'll be the selfish cheater, and her boyfriend will be the one who's hurt beyond belief moreso than you and her. Because that's been going on behind his back all this time and he had no idea. 

    He's gonna feel like an idiot, he's gonna feel confused, and i think he's really not gonna understand why she didn't just leave if she was that unhappy. I don't know what he does to her but if he's abusive she needs to leave him and it's not your place to come in and break up their relationship and put doubt in that girls mind about what she really wants. I get that you're both girls but cheating is cheating. If i were you i would just back off because if she can do that to him what makes you think she would be faithful to you if you two were together? she's also already shown who she really is. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Cheating and having affairs are the same, regardless of gender or sexual preferences. Period.  Someone always finds out, ALWAYS, and someone , or more than some one person, gets hurt. Do you really want to be part of something that is unethical, hurtful, and usually comes to no good end?  One more thing: if you cheat with a cheater, chances are good that sooner or later, they'll also cheat on you.

  • Robert
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You have a really strong bond but she gets upset if you worry that it's just an experiment.  That sounds like the bond may not be a bond at all.  It sounds to me like you're the recreation piece on the side.  So if you can handle it as it is, enjoy the romp.  If you want something real, shop elsewhere. 

  • 1 month ago

    You are both playing with fire and walking on very thin ice! What you are doing is immoral and will make you a homewrecker when it gets out. This means something to you, but you really need to stop having sex with her until you know how she truly feels about you. Sex is meant to mean something, it is very intimate and an expression of love, but affairs are usually more about the act than anything else. My question is have you ever told her you love her? Or did you keep your feelings quiet? If she doesn't know how you really feel she may just think it's a bit of fun for you both. However if she does know, this could change things. It doesn't excuse how appalling she is behaving towards her boyfriend, no one deserves what she's doing to him, but if she feels the same as you do, it will force her to make a decision- you or him. Things will become clearer then and this love triangle will finally come to an end.

    She seems a bit bored of him, however if she secretly loves you too this could explain things. If you weren't so head over heels in love with her, I would advise you to stay away as I really think this woman is trouble whether she loves you or not, but as that isn't the case, this love triangle needs to be put to bed straight away. Suggest you share a heart to heart to get some answers from her. I want you to be honest if you haven't already. Declare your love to her but if she starts kissing you or pounces again, tell her that until and unless she can be honest about her feelings for you, this affair is on hold. Be firm, and do not give in to temptation no matter how much you want to ravish her. I don't really know why you'd want to get involved with a woman like this, she'd probably cheat on you as well at some point sooner or later, but it's your life and you can't help who you fall for at the end of the day.

    Good luck- I think you're gonna need it!

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Did she know you were there before you comforted her? She might have staged the whole thing to get you into bed again. It seems this girl will stop at nothing to have her wicked way with you. It could definitely be because she loves you, as that's what people do when they love each other, but honestly? Something doesn't add up here. Does she know you love her and how much you love her? If she really does feel the same way and wants to be with you properly, then she should come clean to her boyfriend and break things off once and for all. it's not fair to string him along. And then you won't have to keep sneaking about behind his back and you are free to be together. But why is she still with a man she keeps cheating on? This is what I don't understand. Can she not leave him, is he violent or something? This whole thing is really messy! She seems like she's hiding something to me, like she keeps her cards close to her chest. There won't be a fairytale ending to this, I would strongly recommend you to go against her wishes and demand to know what she's playing at. You should stop having sex with her until you know for sure who she really wants

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    She sounds like a *****. Maybe a bit unstable. She's probably messing you both about! To me it sounds like she's pretending her boyfriend is the big bad guy knowing you'll fall over yourself to be with her...the female knight in shining armour rescuing her from a bad relationship. I don't buy it! No I'm sorry but I don't think she loves you at all. I don't know what the girl's playing at really, why she's having sex with you, it seems like she's just playing with your head, probably still having sex with her boyfriend as well. You really should try to forget about her, you're only gonna end up getting hurt! You deserve better.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Who gives a **** whether it means anything. Think of it as the two of you making love and just keep banging her! You've got the girl so stfu and who really gives a **** about him when she clearly doesn't want him anymore she sounds soooo fed up with him

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