Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Is it normal not to be attached to someone after 2 years together? ?

So me and mu boyfriend of 10 months. Had a conversation about exes.. Due to me finding messages between him and his ex a few months ago (I confronted him then and he admitted directly it was an ex and they were only friends had been broken up almost a year)  but the other day we had a full Convo about past loves.  He is a very logical guy,  has a big heart is affectionate but not expressive of feelings.  I asked if he had ever been in love,  he said yeah... When he was 17 but it was just a teenage thing... I was shocked as I assumed he had loved the ex  I had caught him chatting to... He said no... They were together 2 years,  only the beginning 5 months were good and then it got rocky.  That they were never serious about each other,  yes committed but not serious.  I asked of he still loved her as I had found the. Messages and he said he never did,  they got along well but relationship wise no.  That he cared about her yes and would help her out hence their friendship but he never loved her.  Thing is I've seen their pics and they did look loved up... Also the fact they stayed talking an meeting for coffees a year after breaking up confuses me.  He swears he didn't carry feelings for her when they were together so why would he now?  I know they no longer talk as she is also with someone new and he knew it bothered me So stopped. 

The thing is I fall in love within a few months... How could he be with her  2 years and not love her?  Everyone I know is in love after a month 😂

4 Answers

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    It takes me a lot longer than a month, then again im not you, and im not a young person. I take my time to get to know the person, good or bad, and see how it goes, more often than not, inside of 9 months, I move on, because I do not like what I see with that person.

  • 1 month ago

    I've dated people more than once who i never fell in love with.  I fell in lust a few times, though.  Lust isn't love.  I did fall in love two times, as well.  

    Just because the boyfriend wasn't madly in love with the girlfriend, iI'm sure he loved many things about her.  You also said they had a "rocky" relationship after the first several months, so he may not have trusted her enough to fall in love with her because trust is an integral part of falling in love.  Love is all about respect, trust, sharing similar life values, accepting each other for who we are, becoming emotionally close -- and also, if someone  truly loves you they are going to be right there to hold your hand when life kicks you in theAss. Most people are hard-pressed to have someone like that.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    i think he said that to protect your feelings. to water it down. i guess u could tell him that its good to have strong bonds ad u repect that over him cheaing on her or dumping her over nonsense. in a way, say u respect him. also i think u shouldnt worry too much about his friendship with her but do be in love. best wishes. tc

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You should probly move back in with your pawentz and regain your dignity 

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