Anonymous

How am I supposed to deal with this?

My youngest sis has special needs and I love her very much. At my work I have shared this info with a few people and one of them, let’s call her C , said something to me today which I don’t know how to react to. She started discussing about how her country has these abortion laws and how they won’t let women go for abortions due to religious reasons. But then she said should wouldn’t want to have a child with Down syndrome etc. I replied to that that kids with special needs have the most innocent soul but then we got distracted as one of the managers came in. She has said something like this before as well.But now I am wondering if she wanted to get a reaction out of me because she is a gossiper, insecure woman who defends herself even if she knows she is wrong. 

I do have to work closely with her but I don’t know if I should :

1.tell her how I didn’t appreciate it But this way she will think she got a reaction out of me or she will tell everyone how sensitive I am.

2 . Move on from the topic but distance myself strategically and this way just end my friendship with her because she is a mean maliscious woman( since she has a reputation of someone who stirs crap at work). 

Any ideas? Or suggestions?

7 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I think if it gets really bad, you should tell her boss. If it just keeps continuing, tell her positive qualities of your little sis that have nothing to do with down-syndrome. Let her believe what she wants to believe but make sure she knows your opinion too.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Absolutely, positively #2. By continuing to talk with this woman is going to create nothing but trouble. Trust your instincts and stay away from the trouble maker. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    You're supposed to put on your professional face and try to not talk about personal opinions in the workplace. Of course people have different opinions on things but when the immediate goal is to be productive as an employee you have to put those personal differences aside. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    Let's just say that I am glad there are people who can deal with this.  Me personally don't have what it takes to care for a special needs child.  I think I would abort.  I couldn't bring an unhealthy child into this world knowing that my genetics pass this down to a child.  I am glad that you & your family can deal with this, really proud of you but I couldn't do it.

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  • T J
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    Get away from her. Now, learn to keep your home life at home. You are there to work, not talk. If you worked for me, you would not have time to talk.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Here are a few ideas:

    1. Stop having person and political discussion at work.

    2. Let what she said go.  She is entitled to her opinion, regardless of whether or not you agree with it or find it horrific.

    3. Realize that you don't need to "defend" your sister or Downs Syndrome people when someone else is "sharing" their personal ideology.  

    4. Since you already know this woman likes to get a rise or reaction from people, don't give her the satisfaction.

    5. If this woman's opinion about Downs Syndrome people is offensive to you, distance yourself and quietly end the "friendship."  Your goal here is to maintain a comfortable working relationship, not to convert her or to find a BFF, right?

  • Carrie
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Since the conversation is past, I would let it go for now. If this ever is brought up again and she says the same sort of thing, I would say right away that you don't appreciate that and that your sister is proof that these children matter and can bring so much joy to those in their lives. If she persists, you can talk to HR about it. It is not an ok topic to discuss with coworkers. If you are more friends and don't want to talk to HR, I would come right out and tell her it is not an ok for this sort of discussion. Her opinion is her opinion but she doesn't need to bring it up to you or others in the work place.

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