In laws are too much for me and my newborn?

My in laws baby sit my 8 week old baby girl once a week for a few hours (4-5 hours and I pump a bottle for them). So they’ve seen her every single week since she was born.

My husbands sister has met her 3-4 times so at least once a fortnight. And his other sister and brother see her about once a fortnight too.

Am I crazy or is it a bit excessive to have that many visitors every week/fortnight? All visits are separate I should add. I have to find the time for all of these visits, yet I barely get 10minutes in the day to have a shower with our colic baby, I’ve gone days without showering sometimes! 

And even so, my sister in law complained that she is a “stranger” to her niece, and that my sister sees her way more than her (I can hang out with my sister as much as I want can’t I)

But now I feel bad, I haven’t slept more than 2 hours stretches in 8 weeks, and Every day there is a new drama or complaint with the in laws and I’m exhausted. I know I have to “share” the baby, but I haven’t even settled into parent life yet, and they are demanding so much of me. 

What can I do? I can’t tell them they can’t see her. Shes my baby, but she’s also my husbands baby, so I just need some wise advice. I don’t want to cause any conflict for anyone, so I’m clueless how to make it through!

Update:

My sister has met her 4 times. My brother and dad has only met her once! My mum has met her twice. Should I tell them this so they can see they are at an advantage to my family or is it just adding fuel to the fire? 

7 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    3 days ago

    What's your question? sounds like you're just ranting and being a whiner. 

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    You need your rest. THAT is a priority!

    Besides, we are in a COVID  world right now. AND...your baby needs to build up an ammuine system! Good God knows my infant would not have a revolving door of visitors in this pandemic!

    Tell everyone that you are limiting visits at this time, and get your husband on board. If you need a babysitter, then do it in that one day in two hour shifts, sharing it on a rotating schedule so everyone gets to spread germs to your kid!

    Grow a backbone and deman support from the hubs.

  • 1 week ago

    Talk to your husband, they are seeing her ONCE a week, my in-laws saw our child once or twice a YEAR.  If they get to see the kid that much, they should NOT be complaining.  Talk to your husband to tell them to lay off and shut up or they can't see the kid at all.

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    Personally - I would tell everyone to go away.  YOU DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO VISITORS.

    In a year when there is a high risk of a deadly virus being passed around - you certainly have the right to be an over protective mother and LIMIT the visits with the baby.  Your husband should be supporting YOUR WISHES on this issue.  

    COVID is real and if one of these family members brings it to your home - you, your baby, and your husband are all at risk to become very sick.

    You can share video and photos with close family members.  The baby isn't going to remember "meeting" them anyway.  

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  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    If they want to see her they have a right too!

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    I had no-one to help me at all. I wish someone would have given me even half an hour off.

  • 2 weeks ago

    Of course you can tell them you aren't up to visitors right now.  And you shouldn't have people in and out around a newborn/small baby right now anyway.  And why isn't your husband standing up for you?

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