First date ended abruptly and don't know how to read it?
So, I went on a first date today with a guy that I met on an app. Because of COVID restrictions and comfort level, we decided to do an outdoor coffee date at the local Starbucks. The date started with a hug (as I prefer). It was pretty casual, being a coffee date and having met through an app, but I really enjoyed the conversation. However, it's pretty cold here (mid-40s), and we had both said that we were kind of cold. About 45 minutes in, he said, "Well, I'm pretty cold, so I am going to go, but we're on the app. It was nice meeting you," and then left pretty abruptly without even giving me a hug.
As he was standing to leave, I said that I enjoyed our conversation and would like to see him again, and he said "sounds good." I don't have a good feeling about this. It was pretty cold, but he was very abrupt about ending the date, and I was really thrown off by the lack of a hug. I don't want to waste time and get my hopes up if he's not interested, but I also don't want to scare him off by pressing him after one date.
I'm thinking of sending something along the lines of, "Hey, like I said, I really enjoyed our conversation and would like to get to know you more, but I couldn't help but notice that our date ended abruptly. Do you feel the same way?"
How would you read this situation? And do you think my approach is the right one?
- PLv 72 months ago
Doesn't sound like he's very interested. It's better to just move onto the next person. If he contacts you then I suppose you give it another go, but I would focus on the "next one" whomever that may be,
- zipperLv 72 months ago
That would depend on why the date ended that way? If there was NO OUT SIDE CAUSE. Then it is time to move to the next person to date.
- Ace ShortyLv 72 months ago
I think he was getting pretty cold, he didn't seem unpleasant, try to find some place where it would be warmer the next time and go from there.
- ?Lv 72 months ago
Sorry but this one isn't interested.
I met my husband online and our first date was at a hockey game on new years day at Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor, Michigan. It was snowing and about 10 degrees outside. I'm from Michigan and used to that weather, he is from Texas so really not. He still stuck through the whole game despite the cold & snow and ... come to find out he didn't/doesn't even like hockey. Many years later, he will still sit though something he finds boring for me and I do the same for him.
Someone who is interested will brave the elements and even sit through something they don't enjoy because it's something that you do.
I did some online dating before that and well I also a few dates which ended like the one you had. Those ones I never heard from again and that's okay because they weren't the right person for me.
I think you would do yourself a favor to not message him.
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- 2 months ago
Do NOT message him again. If he's interested, he will follow up within two-three days. If not, he simply isn't interested. Just move forward and keep your head high. You are awesome. :)
- 2 months ago
According to Michelle's Method TM, if the date is not going well after twenty minutes, it is permissible for a woman to walk out. Same with men. No point in staying if it is all wrong. Patti Stanger gave some great advice on how to handle this by saying, "Look. I am sorry but I am not feeling it. I need to go. I can get you hooked up with a great person, though. While you are not my type, I can see one of my friends going for a guy like you." Then walk.
According to my method, you can get up, say you must go to the bathroom, then cancel the drink or dinner order at the bar, and head out the side exit. This is why it is best not to give out your address and according to my method, nobody picks you up or visits your house for the first month.
- 2 months ago
For me I dont want to waste any time or money on the first date. You never know if the woman likes you and she most likely isnt having sex with you today so make it quick leave them guessing. So its a numbers game schedule as many as possible then your lining up tail in the future. Sounds like you are in line.
- Anonymous2 months ago
id move on to someone better with a bigger connection
- choko_canyonLv 72 months ago
As a guy, I can tell you with near 100% certainty that he is not interested in seeing you again. If he were, you would have KNOWN it because he would have made it very, very clear. Him saying "sounds good" to your suggestion of seeing each other again was the major giveaway. If he wanted to see you again, he would have said "Yes! Absolutely!" or something to that effect and possibly even had made a second date right then and there. Move on.
- oldprofLv 72 months ago
What about 6 ft distancing do you not understand? Hugs? During a pandemic? I'm guessing you caught him off guard with that first one, but he wasn't going to be caught off guard for your second hug. And as you two were eating/drinking I'm guessing you were maskless. Maskless and hugging a stranger....jeez.