Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingNewborn & Baby · 2 months ago

In laws want alone time with my baby?

In laws want “alone time” with my newborn once a week, for at least 4 hours. Husband wants to do it too, says we can go on a date during that time. 

She’s 8 weeks old and exclusively breastfed. So I would have to pump 1-2 bottles for them to use.

Is this reasonable request from them? Or normal compared to other family’s? First time mum here and not sure how to feel.. I feel weird leaving my baby so young. It could be hormones but it feels like they’re trying to take over her. :(

9 Answers

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  • L
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    NO 'in-law alone time' until AFTER baby is weaned from the breast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Baby MUST always be with his/her parents - NOT in-laws.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    My in laws are like this. Use the pandemic as an excuse and then ease into it. 30 minutes while you run to the store. An hour for dinner. So on. I hate leaving the baby with my inlaws for extended periods of time. They get mad I won't let the baby stay the night. No reason to! Just give them a little time and say you're overly cautious or come up with excuses in the meantime 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

                    

  • 2 months ago

    I'm sorry, but no way would I bring out your child in the middle of this sickness...  PLUS, she is way too young to leave you, 8 weeks is not very old and should not be leaving the house... do not let her leave your side at the moment...  serious...  you have the holidays to be together with them... 8 weeks isn't very long that you should need a break when she is an infant...  18 plus years ahead till she feels grown...

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  • God
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Tell your in laws they can have alone time after your baby is on the bottle.  You have enough to do with a newborn to have to cater to what they want.

  • edward
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I sent my wife to a spa when our son was only a couple months.  Just get her out of the house, nice little break just something to help her out

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Do YOU want to leave baby with grandma and grandpa so you can get a break? What you want is what matters here, not what the grandparents want. If you would like a little time off either to yourself or to spend time with your husband (don't worry about what you "should" want, new mothers are often way too hard on themselves), then by all means take your in-laws up on their offer and enjoy the time! But if you don't feel ready to leave your newborn with sitters yet, even if those sitters are family, don't let anyone pressure you. If they want to spend time with their grandbaby, they can do it with you present, and you can simply take her for a few minutes to feed her whenever she gets hungry.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Yes it's normal for grandparents to volunteer to spend time with their grandbaby.

    There are grandparents who provide ten hours of daycare a day so that parents can work.

    Four hours a week is NOT taking over.    If you feel uneasy about this, my guess is that you have a bigger underlying problem with your in-laws (or your husband's relationship with them).

    You aren't under any obligation to accept babysitting services if you do not want/need them.   But if your husband wants four hours a week with his wife and you decline, that too is a symptom of a relationship problem. 

  • 2 months ago

    I think, really, this is a way to offer you and your husband some relief.  It is actually pretty normal.  It isn't normal for them to want alone time with the infant for themselves, but it is pretty common and normal for in-laws to offer to take responsibility for the infant to give you a break.  And as much as I hate to bring this up, it isn't uncommon for a recent mother to perceive good intentions as being driven by motives of competition, which is how I perceive your concerns.

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