Boring sex = end to relationship?
My boyfriend and I are really young - 19 and 18 - and have been together for over 1.5 years. We've been having sex for maybe 7 months now, and we do not see each other that often. About once a week, but once in a while we go a few weeks or a month without seeing each other.
He said he wants to spice up sex and feels kinda bored with our sex life. I know there are ways to spice things up and I am totally down to do that - but if the sex is already boring so early on and at such a young age, is our relationship doomed? Of course we can experiment and try new things, but do those things get boring quickly too?
- AnaLv 62 months agoFavourite answer
In the age of porn, this is unfortunately a very common thing. Porn is something that probably never should have been invented.
Watching porn releases huge amounts of dopamine in the guys brain, from the things he’s watching on screen- huge boobs, girls squirting hard, giant gangbangs, multiple creampies, double penetration, cute girls of every single race and body type... things no single girl will never be able to compete with no matter how hard they try.
This dopamine release alters a guy’s brain chemistry by desensitizing his dopamine receptors. They now require more excitement and stimulation in order for him to become excited and thus, for him to orgasm. This makes it very hard, almost impossible, for him to be 100% sexually interested in pleasure with only 1 woman.
It’s sort of like if a guy did heroin, cocaine and ecstasy for a few months or years... and then you took all those away and asked him to be content with the enjoyable feelings of eating a candy bar. It simply won’t biologically work.
Porn is something that single handedly is destroying society. Because it requires men to be either deeply unhappy with the lack of sexual stimulation from 1 girl- or it requires them to cheat and lie. This leads to many girls who don’t understand this phenomenon, and who break up, only to encounter the next guy with the very same issue. So what is she to do? Well, she learns to be angry at men. 🤷🏻♀️ Some relationships survive by allowing an open relationship, with strict conditions. Some men who are Asexual simply don’t want sex at all. But for the 99.9% vast majority of men who enjoy sex, porn has destroyed their ability to be 100% monogamous all the time.
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, enjoy you, enjoy hanging out with you and love connecting with you and talking to you, or commit himself financially and emotionally fully to you- because HE DOES. But SEXUALLY... all men, nowadays, want more. They want variety because of the effects of porn, which every single guy in almost every single country has been regularly watching since they were a late teenager.
Dumping him is not the solution- every other man in your life will have the same problem. Instead, you’ll need to get creative with your solutions, and it may need to be some sort of a compromise.
- -Lv 62 months ago
Maybe take a break from each other and meet other people. You could hook up with a new guy as FWB and see what it's like with other men?
- ?Lv 72 months ago
If he’s that boring I doubt it will improve. Maybe it’s time to find someone else then dump the current guy.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Yea that's why you wait till marriage...