Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 2 months ago

Is it selfish to have a family only wedding? ?

We are having a family only wedding next July. There will be approximately 33 people attending. This is the only time our family can come. We plan to have a reception with our close friends when it's safe to do so. Several people (not family), have said that it's selfish to have a wedding where only our family is attending. We disagree and we are proceeding as planned. Is this selfish? 

15 Answers

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  • Raja
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    It is not selfish at all .It is a very intelligent decision considering the current pandemic environment .Some narrow minded selfish people can say so.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    I don't believe it's selfish.  If anything else you are doing what's best because it's all about family anyway.

  • a
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    Not at all. Back in the old days....

    ,

    People had weddings to celebrate the fact that they had made a (hopefully) lifetime commitment, witnessed by those close to the happy couple. Unless the bride's family was *very* wealthy, it was often a small affair. 

    Don't let the wedding industry fool you into thinking otherwise.It's hard to believe now, reading popular media, but brides and grooms actually rented venues, hired caterers and musicians and florists and photographers *by themselves without a wedding planner.*  Gigantic cakes, DJs or bands to provide music, first look photographs, photo booths at the reception, sit-down dinners, hundreds of guests (at $$ or $$$ a guest) don't make you *more* married. 

    Neither does the presence of cheap friends griping about not getting free booze and a free meal from you on  some Saturday evening in July.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    YOUR wedding - YOUR rules.

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    This wouldn't have been selfish even before the pandemic. Given how boring most weddings are I find it hard to believe anyone would lobby to be invited to one they've not being invited to. At any rate, keeping things quiet and private is always more respectable than having some big blowout event and making a spectacle of yourself. 

  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Why is it selfish? Because you are not inviting every family member and every friend? There is no reason why you should.

    You are allowed the wedding you want. If you want a small intimate wedding then have one.

    Almost all weddings have to have a limit on guests and the budget. And that is up to the bride and groom, not friends.

    Receptions happen after the wedding. You are thanking your guests for coming to the wedding. Not months later. Have a first anniversary party of just a celebration party. 

    I can’t believe friends would chastise you over having a small family wedding. 

  • 2 months ago

    You are free to have any type or size of wedding you want.  What is old is having a reception for friends who were not invited.  A reception is the couples way of thanking people for attending their wedding.  If I'm not invited to the wedding, why would I be invited to a reception?  Plus, while incorrect, many people feel that a wedding gift is required when attending a reception.

    My advice is have whatever size and type of wedding you want. Invite whomever you want to attend.  Skip the broader reception.  Instead, apply the money you'd spend on a reception to hosting a big  post-COVID party or BBQ or housewarming in a year or so.  Don't tie the party to the wedding you didn't invite your friends to.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    if it's not "safe to do so" then why even have one? sorry but that's my opinion and i personally think it's selfish to have a wedding at this time. it makes no sense. covid immunity doesn't only apply to family. so yes, i do think it's a bit bias to only invite family and not friends.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    No, many people chose this pandemic or not.

    However it is rude and inappropriate to invite people to events for the wedding and not the wedding itself.  Why would they want to come to an event, toting gifts to celebrate an event they were excluded from?

    Also a reception is held the same day as the event.  The concept of a reception is to receive guests who have attended your event.  At best you will be having a wedding celebration at a later date.

  • 2 months ago

    Why would it be? No-one has a right to attend your wedding.

    Just to be clear though; the reception is for wedding attenders only. Anything you do later for friends is a party, not a wedding reception. 

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