English speakers, could you help me?
I need to translate a creative (poetic) piece of writing describing a work of art but I am not a native English speaker and I am not sure if this sounds natural? I would be grateful if someone helped me and said if I need to change something in this paragraph:
This artwork was spit out by Earth from deep inside.
Where the flaming chaos, the dragon of sickness and fear, is raging,
This stone was discovered by a young artist, Tom Nowak. He had a close look at it and he felt what was going on deep inside it.
But he put on a lock so that we could find a key ourselves, and if we dare, even unlock it.
What is inside the artwork that awaits us?
And what stories would this artwork spit out from the depths of the past?
- BookbinderLv 72 months ago
If you wish your piece of writing to sound acceptable to modern English ears, it should be written as follows:
This work of art was ejected from deep inside the Earth, where fire and chaos and the spirit of sickness and fear hold sway.
This stone was discovered by a young artist, Tom Nowak, who examined it closely and felt what its deeper meaning was.
However, he fixed a lock to it so that we should find a key for ourselves, and - if we dare - unlock it.
What is it that awaits us inside the work of art?
Aye, what tales from the past could this artwork reveal?