Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 2 months ago

how do i be a nicer person?

i think im pretty mean to people and im trying to get out of the habit, but im not sure how to. im not as bad as i was in year 4 where i was rude to everyone and not just specifics, only cause of some stupid reason (its an explanation not an excuse, being mean is bad, but some chick stalked me and she also licked me if i didnt sit next to her on the bus this went on from year 3-5 she wasnt that bad in year 3 tho) now whenever someone gets too close to me or says they like me i freak out and start being mean to them and insulting them and saying i hate them and avoiding them over a long period of time so they stay away from me cause they scare me, and ik its toxic so i want to stop since i have lost some good friends cause of it. i really want to get out of this habit

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    If someone says they like you, just say “thanks, but I don’t know you too well”. If they are being aggressive about it when they answer to that, tell them they won’t ever have a chance with you with that kind of attitude, and simply walk away. 

    If a girl seems nice, tell them you can exchange numbers or social media. Get to know her first. She might even end up being your type :) If she seems weird like the girl you mentioned, tell her that if she does something like lick you, you won’t give her any chances or that you will report her to the counselor.

    It makes sense why you act the way you do because of the trauma you had with that girl, but try to refrain yourself from offensive language; not everyone is like her, and she could really be someone you might like. When someone tells you they like you, you can even just give yourself a minute to answer them, they will understand. 

    Hope this helped! :)

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Did you ever report the harassment to try to get it to stop?  If a person does care about your feelings, and you tell them to stop, the person should respect you. Love is consideration. I suppose we all have to be careful to try not to allow certain negative people to condition us, because during life, we sometimes get stuck with people who effect us for the negative - though they don't usually stick around for our whole-lifetime, sometimes the effects of them outlast their stay in our lives. People have different personalities, and you know that you are not the kind of person that would do what this girl did to you, and there are plenty of other people who wouldn't do that either -- it's abnormal behavior -- meaning most people you run into wouldn't do that to you.

    But I had a similar reaction, and was rude to a guy who showed interest in me, of which afterwards I felt bad about my choice of interaction, and that first impression caused the guy to give me the cold shoulder throughout the semester in that class (this was years ago). Life goes on, but if you want friends, you have to show yourself to be friendly to whoever you want friendship from. You are still going to run into people that are best to avoid --> not all people are friendship material (in my view), as they are more life-sucking rather than life-giving. You'll just have to discern between those who will be good in your life, and those who will influence your life for the negative.

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