Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 2 months ago

Daughter thinks she is ugly; nothing I say makes her feel better. Need advice, thanks!?

My friend and her husband are both really attractive and have 5 kids who are all beautiful. In particular, her youngest son and middle daughter could definitely model; they are stunning. My husband and I are average, and we have two daughters who I'd consider pretty.. maybe not as notably gorgeous and conventionally attractive, but still cute and beautiful. I do not wear any makeup (no interest) and I've NEVER made a big deal about looks. Same with my friend. She would never put her kids in modeling. We've raised our kids to be kind, generous, and smart.  

Last year, my friend and I were at the mall with my two daughters and her middle daughter, I'll call F (age 15). F has red hair, aquamarine eyes, and beautiful facial features. TWO times that day she got complimented for her looks. One was in the earring shop and the other was in Hollister at the check out. The lady was quick to say that my daughters were pretty, too, but now one of my daughters keeps bringing that moment up when she complains that she's ugly.  

She asks why she never gets complimented by her looks? As a parent I've tried saying 'you're pretty' (she is) and looks aren't everything, but I'm just curious what else I can say that's honest but makes her feel better.? Anyone been here?

(I'm not jealous of my friend. I just think it's shallow that people focus on looks more than they should. It makes me sad that a stranger would compliment only 1 out of 3 girls. People need to be more aware.)

2 Answers

Relevance
  • 2 months ago

    Red hair and blue eyes really stands out and catches the eye easily.

  • edward
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    she's not ugly.  when i was younger 9 (I know i'm a boy so it's a little different) i would pick apart my body with just ridiculous things that normal people who look like me didn't think about.  i've always been appealing to the general public in my area, but the things i was concerned about were i thought my belly button was too low, i thought my eyes were too far apart, my ear lobes were too droopy, my uvula hangs lower than average, ect.  the list goes on and on of just tiny little things that i would change if i could.  i always compared myself to my best friend (making no sense because in many ways we are the same).  and then i figured it out.  he's not better looking than me, he's different looking than me.  different is good, it would be boring if we all looked the same.

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