Do people just know that they want to marry someone or is that just in my head?

I've been dating my GF for about 5 years and herself, her family and my family all have been wondering why I haven't popped the question. And I've been waiting for that feeling like I should know 100%, without a doubt that this is the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Do people actually feel that cuz i haven't felt that with her. I do love her and don't want to hurt her. But at the same time I dont want to waster anymore of her time

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  • garry
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    yes they  know , sex or no sex ...you marry them and it dont work out then divorce or dump them .. simple..

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    People are stupid and delusional. They envision someone is right for them. Look at any person. What do you know? Only what they want you to know and what you see or believe. Nobody 'can know' this is 'the one'. There is no such thing as this one magical person and no way of knowing from meeting someone. Relationships take research, effort, reality, and groundwork, not fantasies in people's heads. 

    As for making a woman wait five years, there is no grey area with marriage or any other question. Either you do or don't. You obviously don't and are being selfish in wasting her time for your benefit. Let her go so that she does not waste another five years. 

    And please do not deny yourself true companionship, love, monogamy, loyalty, friendship, sex, financial stability, and family because you like so many others stupidly seek out excitement. Relationships are not always exciting. It is more about wanting to be with someone everyday. You want excitement? Get a motorcycle or take up horsebackriding. 

  • Jane
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Most people don't spend their whole adult life with the same partner. Attempting to predict the future like some kind of insurance sales never works in love.

    I think you are seeking a feeling, perhaps something difficult to define like 'she gets me', a 'deep connection', where there may be difference and disagreement but ultimately there is trust and acceptance of each other as people.

    Tough decision, you have kind of answered your own question- you are not ready.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    She may make a good girlfriend, but not the best wife.   I made the mistake of marrying my ex because I didn't want to hurt her and our families thought it was something we should do.  In the long run the type of love I was able to give was never enough for her, especially after things got real with a child and she ended up forcing a divorce despite the fact that I was willing to try.  

    Simple lesson?  Don't marry someone you are not excited to be with for the rest of your life.  A spouse needs to be someone you can see as a true equal partner in life.  If you can't see that out of your girlfriend then it's time to move on as painful as it may be.  

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You don't really love her like everyone say says you do.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I don't think this is a one-size fits all kind of thing, but for me, with my husband, I knew, and 20 years on, I've had no regrets. To be honest, I knew almost from the beginning, for him it took longer, but he popped the question a little less than 3 years after we met each other.

    On the other hand, I was in a 7 year relationship before that, and I didn't feel ready for marriage, and that was simply because the relationship wasn't that good. I kept waiting for it to get better, but it only got worse, so I broke up with him. In hindsight I should have done it long before that.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Any couple who are totally committed should know it is the right time to marry.   I knew the moment I saw her......but we put it to the test of time and were married 3years later.  That was over 50 years ago!

  • 2 months ago

    It sounds like you really love her but you're not at that point where you're thinking about the future to that extent because you want to. It seems like it's just because everyone is talking about it and i think it takes everyone a different amount of time to know if they're ready or not. It's not something that everyone realizes if they want to or not at the same time. But it's normal to have some doubt because it's scary that's one person for the rest of your life and some people just can't handle it. Maybe to you it may seem like you're already married. Five years is a long time. Just try talking to her about it and see what she thinks see if she's at where you're at and how you guys can move forward. Hope this helps and good luck.

  • 2 months ago

    Stop listening to others and go with your heart.

    ****, really, 5 years, that's ******* a long time.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    "Do people actually feel that"    Yes.

    "I do love her"   So what?  That doesn't mean she's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with or that you even want to be married.

    "and don't want to hurt her"   Not wanting to hurt her just means you're a decent human being.  It doesn't mean you love her or want to marry her.

    "I dont want to waster anymore of her time"   If you think you are wasting her time, then obviously she isn't the one.   It's time to have "the talk".

    I'm guessing you got together when you were very young...like maybe 16/17 and you are now 21/22 in which case breaking up is perfectly normal.   Teenage romances end.

    If you're 30 and have been dating for five years and you still don't feel that she is "the one", then she isn't and you ARE wasting time. 

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