Smokey
Lv 4
Smokey asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Correction for 20 year old living at house...?

My oldest daughter still lives at home. Apparently she has wrote down or memorized my debit card number. And in just a few days has used it way more than she should have. I'm not going to mention how much money she has basically stolen from us, but it was quite substantial. How should I deal with her or the situation, because I have never dealt with something like this before?

11 Answers

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  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Hello concerned parent it's always a tremendous blow when you learn something about your child you didn't know or thought was possible. The best way to deal with this situation involving your oldest daughter who stole from you is to calmly as possible remind her how important it is to treat others as she wants to be treated and never bite the hand that feeds or cares for her.  Depending on how she responds to whatever rules or decisions have been put in front of her because of her actions and lack of concern respect truth and maturity you must decide if you want someone who didn't show any natural affection on your behalf to be in your presence or home. It might be the hardest thing as a parent you have to do but you must let your Yes mean Yes and No mean No to stay in control of your household and to keep your peace of mind and a calm heart. Take some deep breaths and pray for strength to endure this difficult situation. 

  • 1 month ago

    She's an adult who has stolen from you, what would you do if she was anyone else? If you choose not to press charges you at the very least need to confront her, let her know you expect her to repay you every cent she spent. You call the bank and report fraudulent charges, get a new debit card with a new number and keep in on your person so she cannot repeat the offense. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i wouldve told the police what shes doing

  • 1 month ago

    Confront her on to why she used your credit card, if she denies it then threaten to kick her out. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Cancel your credit card and get a new number and pin if it has one! @Dr. Stephanie I am 23 and live at home, so why are you bitching and saying she should be out on her own, if you aren't ready or capable on being out on your own, you can't always help it. And if you don't know the whole story back off and shut up! I have my own credit card, plus my mom gives me hers from time to time, but I ALWAYS pay her back. Hide your credit/debit cards from her if you don't want her using them, plus are you 100% certain she is the one who done it. I know my neighbor thought her son did the same thing reported him he got arressted, and found out it was cyber theft, and the person who done it was her ex husband! But she couldn't get the charges dropped from the police, as they didn't want to hear it.

  • 1 month ago

    Cancel your credit card and keep its replacement securely locked away. There has to be more to this story, many more problems though you didn't mention them.  She's a thief. You can,if you choose, have her charged with the crime. Isn't it also time for her to leave your home and get out on her own? If she behaves this way, does she still deserve your help and assistance and sheltering? I think not. There is also the question of WHY she did this? I'm wondering if she is trying to support a drug habit. Please come in out of the rain and deal with this now, it should have been recognized and dealt with long ago.  

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    First, get a new debit card. You can just tell your bank you lost it.

    Second, tell her to move out. You are not responsible for a 20 year old. If she doesn't agree, tell you that you'll report her theft to the police. 

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    First report unauthorized use of your acct to your bank, report it to the police.  Do you have proof she stole it? or has someone else do it. If you make these reports the bank may have to refund your money.

  • Fin
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    I see this as being multiple options on how to deal with it.  Most depend on how she responds and what you can do next if you're not satisfied with the result:

    1. Have her pay the money back and tell her not to use it again w/o permission.  Then  2. Get a new credit card.  If she doesn't agree to any of that then you can go to the extreme and 3. Have her arrested for cc fraud as she did not have your permission.

    It all depends on what her reactions are and how far you want to push correcting her behavior.

    Hopefully you don't have to go past step 1.  If you're having and have had issues with her in the past you can skip straight to step 2.

    I don't envy your situation but Good luck

    Depending on the state law over a certain dollar amount is a felony.

  • Rick
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    get a new card issued and KEEP IT WITH YOU !!!!

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