Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 2 months ago

How can I grow and mature in my current relationship? ?

My girlfriend has an extremely traumatic past and has borderline personality disorder. As far as I know doing my own research it means her mind is at war with itself all the time, says things out of fear, can come off as manipulative, etc

I want this relationship to work. I love her, and she accepts me with my flaws and I want to do the same.

The problem is, like in every relationship, it can bring out unresolved issues and I've been exposed to and am aware of my emotional immaturity. I especially take things personally a lot which doesn't help and I'm sick of it. I hate it and I want to change. I want to stop taking things personally because we'll have arguments and I don't know how to handle myself or her sometimes. Not that I get violent or say hurtful things, more like I come off as petty and selfish with how personally I take things which just adds fuel to the fire, and it makes it hard finding out what the real problem is. 

Can anyone please offer some advice? I'm literally at tears right now because as far as I'm aware and asking other people who have BPD or dated someone with BPD it can be a really challenging and stressful relationship but I don't want my shortcomings to compromise the relationship. 

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    i hope to god you two do not procreate . 

  • 2 months ago

    Like all Personality Disorders, someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is incredibly difficult to live with and deal with on a daily basis.

    Does your friend receive the necessary therapy in order to live with her problem and LEARN BETTER COPING SKILLS FROM HER THERAPIST?  If she is not in therapy, then she is making her own life WORSE.

    MAke sure your friend understands that long term therapy is necessary to teach her better coping skills and life skills.  Then, offer to go to therapy with her.  Once her therapist has gotten a treatment plan together for her, ask if you can be included.

    I wish you and her all the best.

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