Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Why are my parents like this?!?

So I love seeing both my parents happy more than anything. I love seeing my mom happy and lately she has been extremely happy and does a lot for us. She says how she took a pole dancing class recently and how she brought lingerie to make herself feel good. 

I know my parents cheat on each other. Last year I saw a sexual text on my moms phone from someone’s name but I had no idea who it was. My dad has been cheating on my mom’s for as long as I can remember. I would find pictures and messages on his phone even as a young child which would mess me up and I think has even messed up my view on love and relationships a little. My parents aren’t really affectionate and I have a hard time trusting men and expect most of them to eventually cheat. 

My parents are both phenomenal parents to all of their kids. I’m the oldest and I’m 19 right now and I have a sister who is 17 and a brother who is 12. I try to keep that stuff from them but I know my sister knows because my dad goes out every night and we expect it at this point. I think my mom allowed it for a while and now she’s started doing it. My mom is a happy person but she has been through a lot this year so it’s unnatural for her to be this uppity. Maybe I’m overthinking but I know my mother and I hate they do this to each other. It breaks my heart and I want both of them to be safe. I’ve had one boyfriend and he eventually left and I currently like this guy at work but I’m scared to trust him. Why am I feeling like this?!

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    ask them what you just asked us

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    maybe you should ask them this question

  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Hello concerned one you can’t base your relationships or happiness on your parents relationship even if the one you had didn’t work out. It’s understandable why you might have trust issues considering what you live with daily in your own household but you can’t judge everyone or not trust everyone because of past or present situations you’re dealing with now. Unfortunately as mentioned some parents relationships don’t work out like they should you just try to learn from them and do better for yourself. Seek professional advice if needed to help you get pass this difficult experience you grew up with so you can grow into a mature well balanced loving respectful trustworthy person. Pray for understanding wisdom strength and courage to move forward and if needed or applicable talk to your parents about how their relationship or behavior has affected you and your siblings. Take some deep breaths and try to keep a calm heart and your peace of mind. It’s never easy seeing division in a household but unfortunately no one is perfect. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Unless your parents have actually explained the nature of their relationship and their problems, you may not know what’s really going on. Maybe they have an open relationship. Maybe they’ve given up on their marriage and are staying together for the kids. You don’t know that your parents are constantly trying to hurt each other. It sounds like they may have both accepted the way their marriage is, since they don’t appear to be that unhappy, and they aren’t trying to divorce. Don’t allow your parents relationship to dictate how you handle yours. Yes, some men cheat (as do women), but there’s definitely good guys out there. Just don’t allow a man to treat you badly just because your mom tolerated it. Your parents relationship is not the same as yours. You know what is acceptable behavior to you, and you shouldn’t accept anything less. 

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