Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingOther - Pregnancy & Parenting · 2 months ago

Told to get tubes tied?

Is it normal for my boyfriend of 40 to tell me to grt my tunes tied because he wishes never to have kids with me and I should never get my hopes up? I would love to after I finish college next year and start a career to start a family of my own. It feels like a lot at 22 to be told I should never have kids... I feel like I would make a great mom one day as I have straight a's, never miss anything, go to school full-time, keep the house cleaned, animals are well-taken care of, do surveys for amazon, and I work full-time.  It feels heartbreaking I can never have my own family even though I am already doing so much after moving out of state to be with him. It even hurts more being told to tie my tubes to prevent a pregnancy at all. 

11 Answers

  • 3 weeks ago

    Are you nuts???  Dump him unless you realllllly love him.  Let him get a vasectomy!!! Don't let him ruin you life.

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Why would you want to have a child with a man so much older than you anyway? Find someone your own age who actually wants kids and will have the energy to keep up with them. 

  • 1 month ago

    You would be a complete and total fool to get your lubes tied because someone else does not want children.

    Tell Him to get a Vasectomy if HE does not want children.

    Any guy who is much alder than you are who tells you to give up your dream of motherhood isa selfish PRICK.

    You are too young and naive to realize it yet, but that boyfriend of yours is not going to be in your life 3 years from now.

    Go on birth control for now because this dude is not going to be a dad if you get knocked up. He will not change his mind. Not even if he says he loves you. He does NOT want a child/family or maybe even a marriage!

    You are young. Don't allow someone to squish your dreams. Your dreams are his nightmares.

    Never forget that!

  • GB
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    It sounds like you are very much in love, and see yourself staying with this man. Maybe you will stay with him. But what if you don't? Getting sterilized to please him is a much bigger thing than dressing a certain way or having your hair styled. For a woman it's not reversable. Even if you were ambivalent about whether you want to be a mother - I'd still advise against doing what he says. 

    It is a much simpler option for a man to have a vasectomy. Do you wonder why he has not said he wants to get one? He said he never wishes to have children with you. Maybe he wants to keep his options open? How would you feel if after the op, he gets some other woman pregnant? 

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Not normal of him to suggest something like that and he shouldn't be telling you what to do with your own body. Do yourself a favor and dump him.

  • 2 months ago

    If you are a Liberal, I would agree with your boyfriend. At least you won't get pregnant and then kill the kid.

  • 2 months ago

    i had a vascectomy and shoot blanks

  • 2 months ago

    Tell him to get a vasectomy and then he won't have to worry about any woman he's with getting pregnant.  He's a selfish prick.  Kick him to the curb!

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    This is a HUGE sign that you are with the wrong man.  His life goals DO NOT match your life goals.  He is OLD and past the desire to raise young children - you are young and just starting in life.  

    You are TOO YOUNG to make that huge of a choice especially if you haven't fully decided for or against raising a family.  (based on your statement - it sounds like you are considering having children and wanting a family - and he doesn't.)If he doesn't want children - HE CAN GET A VASECTOMY and you can get a new boyfriend.

    Do not waste your youth on someone who doesn't share your life goals.  Find a new boyfriend and move on.  

  • Barry
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Of course it's not normal. Most guys are thrilled to have kids of their own. But you do have choices. Ignore him and get pregnant. Or dump the loser and find a decent boyfriend. He's incredibly selfish and doesn't care that it upsets you. So dumping is what I strongly recommend. Unless he changes his mind of course.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.