Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

My friend always wants me to pay for her?

My friend and I got invited on a road trip coming up. Her parents have been bugging her to get a job while I already have one and have been working to save money for this trip. She’s expecting me to put my money together with her so she’ll have enough to go buy I would like to spend my money on things for myself since Im always paying for her food and other things. How do I go about letting her know I will not be paying for her expenses, because she always guilt trips me in the moment?

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  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    A true friend doesn’t use a friend kindness against them if she doesn’t get a job and is capable to why are you feeling guilty? Especially if her parents not concerned about helping her go on trip take that as a warning sign. Don’t enable her or be her crutch to stand on and not be responsible it’s ok to occasionally buy food etc  it if she not putting forth effort to make your own way financially let her know y’all friendship is one sided and let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. Keep a calm heart and your peace of mind. 

  • 1 month ago

    What we allow is what will continue. 

    Your friend is 100% able to get her own money. She chooses not to. 

    You get to decide if you want to accept that you will be paying for her, or going by yourself. Ask yourself if you would even enjoy being on a road trip while resenting her.

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Stand tall, and tough, tell her you will no longer be paying anything fro her, then walk away from her, break the friendship if you must.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Your "friend's" taking the piss and you know it, and I think SHE knows that ya know it as well! I think she's sussed out that you've sussed HER out for what she bloody is! 

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Just open your mouth and let her know you're not paying her way or giving her any money for this trip.  What's wrong with you? 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    In my youth it was traditional for the boy to pay for the girl that he had asked out on a date. That tended to change when they became more than an occasionally dating pair.  They'd split the bill.  It is difficult for an oldy like me to say how it should be these days but I will say that, because females are NOT, these days,  paid less than males (for the same job) - which was the case when I was young - they should pay equally for meals out, cinema tickets and train journeys etc. 

    What might also work for you would be to tell her that you cannot take her out again for a while because funds are short or by using some other words to get across to her that you cannot afford to always foot the bill. 'Girls' (of which I am one) asked for equal treatment many years ago so paying equally should be part of that deal in my opinion.

    Whether the friend is male or female makes no difference. These days the majority of people are earning wages or receiving government benefits.  Males and females receive the same when circumstances are the same. No-one should need to 'sponge' off someone else.  If the money is not there the trip should be cancelled.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't think you should even go on the trip.  If your friend "always" wants you to pay for her, and you're "always" paying for her food, then what does that tell you?  She has been sponging off you long enough and it's surprising that she still hasn't gotten a job, even with her parents pushing her.  Enough of her guilt trips, move on from this girl already!  She needs to figure out life for herself.

  • 1 month ago

    Develop a better relationship with your own money. There is NO reason you need feel guilty for not picking up her tab. That's crazy stuff. She must be quite the manipulator! 

    Here's the other thing.... don't invite people to do things that you know they can't afford! Just stop doing that. It's confusing to everyone concerned. As far as she's concerned, tell her a flat cost for the trip (pad it a little because they always cost more) and simply tell her you won't cover her costs, period. 

  • 1 month ago

    She is not your friend.  She is just using you.  Tell her that and find a new friend. 

    Edit:  I see some people on here are assuming you are a guy.  Are you?  Is this your girlfriend?  If so, yes, you should pay if you are taking her on a date.  If you are both girls, I see no need for you to continue the "friendship."

  • 1 month ago

    You put your foot down. You say NO.

    If you continue to let it happen, she'll be stepping all over you. She knows you won't say no so she's taking this opportunity to take advantage of you. I would never do that to my friend. I would literally be too embarrassed to ask my friend for food or trips every single time. This girl is not your friend, you're her resource. Tell her that this is the last time you'll ever do this with her. And the next time she asks, say no and remind her what you told her about it being her last time. 

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