Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

Am I right to be bothered by this? Is it normal to talk for your brother in law to talk to your ex (casual) ?

If you were casual with someone for a couple of year's, had NEVER met his sister but had met his brother in law a few times and also his nephew and niece (from taking them to the park together) 

For example you broke up over a year ago, he moved away (the ex) but you still live in that town... You bump into his BIL while out walking... Would you say hello? 

My boyfriend's ex (who he swears he was only ever casual with and swears never met his sister as that's a big deal for him) bumped into his BIL a month or so ago. Bare in mind my bf hasn't spoken to her in over a year. She asked his BIL how my bf is and if he has any problems as she noticed he stopped speaking with her. My bf then got angry asking why she felt the need to ask and created a fake facebook to confront her. I find this ridiculous... If they were only casual why does it matter? But then why does she feel close enough to the BIL to ask after him and why has my bf reacted like this? 

Bare in mind I have met his family via face time etc... We are living together and serious. She was apparently a past time who he met every week... And they were never serious.. He says. 

Its bothering me as he hasn't blocked her so why feel a need to create a false account to confront her if she never meant anything? But why does she feel comfortable after a year to talk to his BIL

... I'm trying not to let it bother me. But something doesn't feel right 

(They knew each other 2 years in total) 

2 Answers

  • Chanel
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Your BIL does not have a problem with your ex so he spoke to him to be polite.

    Your BIL has his own life to live and I doubt if they are friends.

    Has your boyfriend made up a fake account to have a go at her?

    If he has he is being childish cos the best thing to do is ignore the person cos then it comes across as you don't care a bit cos you don't message or talk about him. It works.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    It is really hard to say. It could be that she is naturally gregarious. Alternatively, given the nature of the breakup, there could be a possibility that she wanted to repair things so that they could be friends. In saying that, I do find it a bit unusual that your boyfriend needs to go to such an extent to confront her about it given that they were casual. I am not sure if you have anything to worry about though because if he wanted to get back on good terms with her then he would not be adopting a confrontational attitude with her. 

    My advice would be to monitor the situation for the time being. You do not want to destabilize your relationship by making any accusations or showing a lack of trust. In times like these I feel it is best to bring him closer to you by increasing communication and the time you spend with each other. Think about it: if his mind is focused on you then he is less likely to be tempted by this ex (that is if he is even tempted). I really hope this helps :)

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