Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

Finding group therapy hard...any thoughts ?

So I know this sounds stupid and I'm ashamed of it, but it is what it is and I  end to cope. I've been living with anorexia for six years now and was hospitalized with it for six weeks last summer. 

Inpatient care involved group treatment and a strict meal plan. While in hospital I met a friend who I admit I really started to have feelings for (I'm a guy), and it was fairly obvious she felt the same, though that could be a whole separate topic. Even though she talked about remaining friends even outside of treatment, she quickly changed her mind thereafter, saying it wasn't personal, but it reminded her too much of the hospital and her own struggles. 

We are both now in outpatient care and I am doing one group which is very similar to the one I did in hospital. I admit that I find it hard because every group reminds me of her. I miss her, and frankly this was one of the few times in my life I felt loved and such (not to lay on the pity party). And now it feels like that affection is gone and I'll admit it hurts quite a bit. 

Any thoughts? 

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Well I think it’s really important to recognize that it was never you it’s her. It’s her own internal struggles that she faces. You have to understand meeting people in treatment of any kind most of the time turns out disastrous in the end because two people who face the same battle.. more than likely are at triple the odds of relapsing. Especially if one does. That’s why it’s really not the safest bet meeting or falling for anybody in any sort of inpatient. 

     For a second I urge you to take into consideration that she might have been doing this not because she didn’t like you but simply to guard her own heart because she knows this truth. You can never be angry with yourself over someone choosing their mental health/wellbeing over love. 

     I understand you might have really liked her but sometimes God has other plans. People who struggle with things like anorexia in my opinion shouldnt really be in a long term relationship with someone else who has or had struggled with the same problem in the past. You need the opposite of that, someone who builds you up, is able to be there when you fall & someone who is pretty steady in life. It’s all about the balance. 

     I know this might not be what you wanted to hear but this is simply the truth. 

    Hang in there & trust the process.   

  • 1 month ago

    It is not good to hang around anyone from the program.

    You will find other friends outside the group.

  • 1 month ago

    She is wise not to get involved with someone from the program.  She states logical reasons why she doesn't want to get involved with someone now.  She seems serious about her own recovery & this is smart on her part.

    You need to accept this cause she has no intentions of a relationship now.

  • 1 month ago

    I don't know what to say about your therapy but I'll tell you something that might be important to you, As the video shows, family-based treatment has been shown to be very good for teenagers.

    Youtube thumbnail

    Relaxation is a treatment for anorexia. If you go to the link below under Source, you can find the research that backs this up. Relaxation was proved better than another treatment for anorexia. A clinical social worker has written about the stresses anorexia patients deal with, recommending relaxation methods.

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