Why does my mother in law hate me?

I have been with her son for over a year and recently found out I am pregnant. I have only met her twice being they live 12 hours away from us. The first time I met her I was shy and scared because they are very strict Christian people and I was scared to say the wrong thing so I was shy and quite. She took it as disrespectful and that I was rejecting her. And accused me of pushing my elbow into her when she tried to hug me. (Which didn't happen) I overheard her say to my boyfriend "you and ur fat girlfriend can go to hell" when he told her he seen that I didn't push my elbow into her. We overcame it I forgave her. We both explained how it's a touchy subject for me and I don't want it commented on. Ever since she brings it up. While I was there she asked me why I only ate so little bc ima big girl and she knows I eat more than that. & every time she talks about me she brings up that I'm overweight. Every single time she finds a way to bring it up.  She also said if I didn't like it to stop talking to her bc she's not watching what she says to please me. And threatened not to be in new grandchild's life. I still haven't said anything rude or anything at all I shut down completely when this happens and I feel like I should just cut her out of my life. Should I? She refuses to respect me and I will not allow my child around someone who disrespects me or may talk poorly of me. 

12 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Wow that’s really annoying, she’s a butt. Congrats (or not congrats) on the baby! Sorry this is so long I speak strict Christian so I hope my mad kind insult skillz help.

    1) Talk to your boyfriend before you do anything. It’s his job to make sure his family doesn’t cross any lines and you vise versa. Ask him to confront her because she’s crossing lines that nobody even thought they would need to draw.

    2) This is classic protective mom son, the father daughter version of this is more common but what’s going on is a classic movie type mean mother in law.

    3) I speak Christian and I couldn’t really insult so I constantly quoted or referenced these verses in order to shock/shut the person up in the nicest way possible. Use this the nice time your M.I.L insults you, which now is NOT ok.

    Sorry this is a lot but they’re what I use

            Ephesians(book) 4(chapter):29(verse) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

         (These next five are Jesus talking)

    Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 

          Matthew 7:2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 

          Matthew 7:3 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 

         Matthew 7:4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 

          Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

         1(st) Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs(this isn’t part of the verse but I recommend using this sentence). Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

    Hoped this helped! I’m sorry if it was too religiously, you can just reference them, these verses are more famous ones so she’ll know what you’re talking about. 

    Source(s): Me and the internet
  • 1 month ago

    because you married her daughter..

  • 1 month ago

    You will be far better off if the raggedy wore out old **** was NOT in your child's life.  Believe me, once the kid comes she's going to do her best to interfere and push her way in and that deadbeat dickless husband of yours had BETTER be there to tell her in the most viciously hurtful way possible to **** OFF!   Your child does not NEED to know this *****.  when he/she gets a bit older, just tell them she died a long time ago.  

  • garry
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    they all hate there inlaws , moms think there baby has found a replacement .. s there being normal , 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Troll fail, dear.

    You have no future in fiction-writing.

  • 1 month ago

    Wow. If your rendition is accurate, your mother in law is a real piece of work.  Unfortunately, when you marry someone, (you didn't say you were married!) , you really marry their entire family as well.  Now, you are entrenched, marriage or not, because of your pregnancy. Too late to admonish and warn you to check out someone's family before you either marry them or allow yourself to get pregnant.

    What you now have to deal with , and be glad that you live so far away from your "inlaw", is how your "boyfriend" will or won't stand up for you and insist that you be treated at least with respect and courtesy. And at least you can insist upon the same from the Wicked Witch of the West.  

    My guess, however, is that his mother is beyond cooperation.  You have made your bed, AND you have already lain in it. 

  • 1 month ago

    If she's a "very strict Christian" then she probably "hates" you because you are not married and are pregnant. Her reasonings, when in fact a true Christian would never "hate" another human nor treat them that way. I wouldn't even equate that evil bitter woman a Christian. Unbelievable that not only does she lie, she actually calls you names and says that you are fat?! SMH! 

    I would never ever step foot in that horrid woman's home again. I wouldn't let my baby see such a toxic hateful person like her. 

    Someone needs to call her out on being a Christian because there is nothing Christian like about her.

    If you ever find yourself having to be around that viscous woman and she calls you names, tell her that type of behavior is very non-Christian and that you are not going to put up with that type of toxic behavior. I have heard of many cases where those type of rude hateful bullies, are put in their place and let it be known that they are done with being subjected to put downs, name calling, threats, and ridicule, they either stop, or make threats that they are cutting the one who stood up to them, out of their lives. No loss there.

    I bet if you've seen her around another female who stands up to her, or else is sort of like her, she does not treat them that way.

    Those type of people like her are always picking on the shy, quite, meek, gentle type of people. Such a shame isn't it.

    Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you luck on being treated decently or else not having to ever see her and deal with her again. I really don't see her changing her evil ways.

    P.S. Another thing you could say to her when she's being so "un-Christian" is, "I will pray for you..."

  • 1 month ago

    Try to become ignorant whenever she tries to tease me in the form of her words. Her mind will not reward her if you ignore her acts, and you'll see the scene changing soon.

  • 1 month ago

    Isn't she your mother out-law if you are not married to her son? 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Some MILs will never like you no matter what you say or do. They have this crazy idea that nobody is good enough for their baby boy and that they must know what’s best for him. That’s HER problem, not yours. It sounds like your husband has stood up for you, so good for him.

    You should definitely accept the fact that you and your MIL will not be having lunch and getting your nails done together. Her hate is based on jealousy, not anything you did. It would be nice if she decides to act like an adult and treat you with respect, but don’t count on it. Don’t antagonize, disrespect, or insult her, but you don’t have to tolerate it from her either. If she makes rude comments about your weight, you can either ignore it completely or say “I know what I weigh, and your son knows what i weigh, he loves me, and it’s not your concern. Do you have anything else you wanna say about my weight while we’re on the subject, or can we just behave like adults and have a ‘nice’ visit?” I bet she will either be speechless and shocked, or storm off. But anyone else in the room who sees the conversation will see you as the reasonable one and her as the petty one. You can stick up for yourself without sinking to her level. Don’t disrespect her, but don’t allow her to disrespect you. 

    You are absolutely right to be concerned about letting her be around your daughter. Until she learns to respect you, you shouldn’t leave the child alone with her. She might say horrible things to the child about you. If she doesn’t like it, just tell her that until she learns to treat you with respect, you can’t trust how she will treat your child. Don’t keep her away from the child, just make sure either you or your husband are there to make sure she behaves appropriately. Your child has a right to know grandma, but don’t let grandma have too much influence. Just don’t make the child into a pawn in your disagreements. 

  • 1 month ago

    Whats youre astrology sign? This could be a MAJOR reason why she hates. Lets say hypothetically you are a Leo and she is a pices this would be a bad MATCH. So maybe you just aren't compatiable. If this is the case the best alternative is to drive a knife through her skull so you wont have the stress of her hatred anymore.

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