Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Am I wrong? ?

My fiancé has been getting worked up over little things lately. I understand he has issues with getting angry real quick but it can get a bit much sometimes. For example, today he got mad at me for not throwing out the trash on my way out. But every other day when I tell him I’m about to do it he tells me to not even touch it that it’s his job as a man so I let it be. But apparently today I was supposed to do it no matter what. In other words he would have been mad either way.  Then the other day he tells me I don’t appreciate him enough because I don’t schedule a time to eat dinner or spend some time with my parents all together when in reality we go to my parents house once every week. In other words 4 times a month. He wants to be there almost every day.  My parents are busy people always working, always on the go and I tell him that but he trying to switch it up saying I don’t want him with my parents when that’s not the case. My question is what can I do or what can I say to make him realize he is making a huge deal out of little problems without causing a huge fight. 

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

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  • 1 month ago

    Lesson number one - DO NOT EXCUSE BAD BEHAVIOUR. 

    WHAT gives you the reason why you need to  " understand he has issues with getting angry real quick"? That seems to excuse him from trying for better behaviour, because "He just can't help it". Rubbish. Excuse it and it WILL keep on happening. 

    Who knows it could and probably will develop into physical abuse since HE doesn't need to take responsibility for his actions towards you. After all he has the excuse "Someone made him angry and you know he can't control it". Even if that someone is you? 

    If he loves you and wants what is best for you HE makes the effort to get a hold on his temper, since its obvious he knows its a problem of his. He doesn't allow it to affect you. 

    He takes steps to do that. He sees some sort of Anger Management Counseling. Finds ways to reduce the stress in his life. Deals with any past issues Comes to a real understanding that taking his anger out on you (or others?) is not acceptable. 

    Lesson over. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This a guy who loves drama and conflict, loves raging and being angry, looks hard for any flimsy excuse to have a good hizzy fit. You must refuse to play along, refuse to let yourself by cowed or bullies by his drama llama antics. 

    Refuse to take him seriously. "You're being silly. We are NOT going to have a fight about this. Go posture and puff and pout somewhere else. I'm beyond bored with your silliness." 

    Of course you risk him breaking off the engagement. Drama monsters are looking for someone who will play their part in the drama, not someone who doesn't give a hoot. But your other option is to deal with this bull biscuit for the rest of your life. 

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