Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

What makes men cheat on their on significant other? ?

I was married to my son’s father for 16 years before I walked out. I found out he had been cheating on me. I thought I did everything right. Kept a clean house. Exercised and stayed fit. Worked full time. Always made time for my husband. I was devoted to him and our son. 

He decided to cheat on me. From what l understand it had only been going on for a short while. Obviously something was lacking at home, because I wasn’t fulfilling what he needed. 

But what l don’t understand is what makes men on their significant other? Is it boredom? Is it the adventure? Is it the conquest? Please help me to understand. 

17 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Some men can't stay faithful. They want to sleep with other women. The woman may be younger than you, and she makes him feel young. 

    Many marriages don't last. Some spouses are abusive or unfaithful. The couple may have had communication problems.   

    If you need to talk to someone, talk to a good friend or a family member.                                

  • 1 month ago

     it just depends on the person

    sometimes factor does play into it but everything you said is true then him cheating on you is probably is spur of the moment thing in wich he gave into

    sometimes its the rush of the moment doing something your not supposed to do that drives a person to wonder what it would be like

    but the truth is

    he isnt thinking about you

    you porobably the last thing on his mind when he is inside her so its best to find someone else that suits you and makes u happy

    marriage is not a 1 way street

  • Teenie
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Remember when you and your husband first met how everything was fun and exciting you couldn't get enough of each other. You fell in love then you got married, the two of you are still having fun together but some of the excitement is starting to fade away. After you have a baby all the attention you once gave to your husband now goes to the baby and he get put on the back burner. Of course none of this is intentional on your part nevertheless your husband feels neglected. When a husband starts to feel unimportant less appreciated that makes him a walking time bomb. In walks THE OTHER WOMAN who's a co worker he has been working with everyday. She complements him tells him how good he looks. The final "got ya" is when she says, your wife is so lucky to have you as her husband. 

    My husband cheated on me with a coworker of his THE ***** it hurt so bad. The worst part about this is she was 10 years older then him and she wasn't pretty. Like you, I took care of myself I worked everyday ,I cooked and cleaned wash and ironed his clothes. I thought our sex life was great I never said no.

    Don't ever put the blame on yourself or anything you did or didn't do, it's all on him.                                               

  • 1 month ago

    It doesn't matter if you were the most perfect wife or the worst one yet. He very well could of been bored or wanted an adventure but he chose to cheat instead of communicating his feelings with you and filing for divorce. That says a lot about his character and not yours. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    It isn't a one sided thing lassie! Women cheat just as much, just as well, and pretty much for the same reasons! The only chance a marriage really has is if both people want the same thing day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year! When one person stops pulling their weight then its just a matter of time! Marriage is suppose to be a lifelong commitment, a quest, a process! But as time goes on, some people lose sight of where they came from and where they presently are! Therefore they lose sight of where they are going! There are clues to the present state of your relationship pretty much all the time you just have to keep your eyes, ear open! The sad thing is people like you get very comfortable in their marriage and usually aren't paying attention to the changes and clues when they appear and then disappear! The spouse knows this better than anyone! When people get comfortable in their marriage, they stop paying attention to the subtle clues that may be right in front of you! Therefore you arent going to see the warnings enough to heed them and the spouse is BANKING on this!

  • 1 month ago

    What makes women cheat on their significant other? Women cheat, too. Let's not forget that, okay?

  • 1 month ago

    It all begins with lack of communication.

    Your clean house, your good food, your figure ... none of that keeps or pushes a man away.

    Marriage is a bigger job and a larger ongoing comittment than all those other things you mentioned.

    Nonetheless, in reality, it is not your fault, it IS his fault. He had other options...marriage counseling, personal therapy, even divorce before cheating. He chose to cheat. There was nothing you could have OR should have done to prevent what HE DECIDED to do. That is all on HIM.

    People cheat for different reasons and sometimes THEY don't even know why.  

    I hope you do not blame yourself because you don't deserve to bully yourself that way.

    It is time to heal. Time to focus on yourself and your son. It is time to forgive yourself for trusting the wrong man.

  • 1 month ago

    There is an excitement in something different.  Different foods. A new car. A new place for a holiday.  Surely it is easy to see the temptation of a different sexual partner. They could be nowhere near as good as your wife and still be tempting because of that difference.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Sorry this happened, but people have written entire books on why men (or women) cheat.  Each person has a story and reasons.  You have every right to know why he did this, but he's the only one with the answer.  

    Also, please don't assume you did something wrong. When you mention something "lacking" at home, I'm sure this is true, simply because no marriage is perfect, and ALL marriages evolve over time.  I've been happily married for 17 years and I've seen this with us.  

    You don't say how long it's been since this happened, but try to look at it objectively.  This will help you get past the sadness and into the anger stage. Any time cheating is involved, dishonesty is always part of this.  So you've been cheated on and lied to.  On top of all this, your husband blew up a family and messed with your son's happiness.

    One other thing:  if there's any attempt at a reconciliation, you have got to demand couples counseling.  If he even hesitates at this, or has to be talked into it, don't do it.  That's because, if nothing changes fundamentally between the 2 of you, he will cheat again.  He has committed the biggest trust violation possible between 2 people, and you sound way too smart to automatically trust him because brings flowers and apologizes.  

  • 1 month ago

    People cheat for hundreds or even thousands of different reasons.... so pick one.  It doesn't matter how clean you keep a house as a wife, or what you cook or how "right" you do everything.  Some people are prone to cheating.  It's just the way it is, and it's not about anything you did.  

    Most people who cheat don't even know why they did it.  Maybe it's because the true nature of the human isn't monogamous?  I can't say for sure. 

  • 1 month ago

    Sexual adventure. 

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