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How to tell your friend that you don’t want to pay for their birthday party?

My close friend/roommate is having a dinner get together with her friends and she wants to order catering. From what it sounds like, she’s expecting me to pay for half of it since we’re both hosting (we share our apartment, she has not outwardly stated this though). She keeps taking about what place we want to order from (keep in mind she doesn’t have very much money herself) and I’m not sure how to tell her in a subtle/nice way that I am not looking to pitch in. We are very close and we get each other little stuff all the time but she’s trying to order food for 10 people :/ Even cooking food would be expensive unless it’s plain pasta or something. Any advice? 

8 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Why not simply ask her if she is sure that she can afford it?    If then she says she expects you to pay half, politely tell her that you cannot do that.   If you really are close you could offer to make some contribution towards it.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I'd mention this before she orders food. Just explain that you're on a budget and you had planned to get her a small gift but if she's expecting you to contribute to the food it might have to be more of a pot of spaghetti made at home kind of affair. 

  • 2 months ago

    Sure. Change it into a pot luck. 

  • 2 months ago

    Just say no. If she doesn't like if then it's her problem

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  • 2 months ago

    just tell her the only meal you plan to pay for is yours.

  • mokrie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You had better NOT be subtle. Tell her straight out you cannot afford it. You can't do it. Period. If you try hinting it will be worse. Then she will guilt you into doing it. Open your mouth and tell her the facts NOW before she orders things. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    When she talks about what place to order from, say something like "You're paying so you get to choose." 

    Suggest that your friend have a gathering that doesn't include dinner, like a cake and ice cream party. 

  • 2 months ago

    Come up with an alternate idea. You don't have to serve dinner at a birthday party. Offer to bake her a cake. Challenge your friends to see who can bring the best drink- enough to share, and then have slips of paper to vote on the best drink.  Call it a "Cocktail Tasting Birthday Party". Otherwise, you'll just have to tell her how much money you're willing to put into the party, if any. 

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