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What can I do?

I have OCD and anorexia. I am 40 and live with my parents. I live a very restricted, quite miserable existence and live like a slob. 

I go to bed every night at about 3.45 - 4.00 am, after saying very long, ritualistic prayers which take about 2-3 hours to complete. I set my alarm for 9 a.m. but always switch it off, get up to go to the loo and go back to bed to say morning prayers which are long and ritualistic, fall asleep before I complete them and wake up again around 12.50 pm and stay inside the bed until I finish my prayers and then start my mental visualising ritual. I must recall mental pictures until they're 'just right' before I can carry on. I get stuck in a loop which is time-consuming. I get out of bed around 2.15 pm & continue the visualisations and always get stuck in a loop until I feel satisfied I've done this just right and then and make the bed and quickly have some breakfast at 4 pm. After breakfast I have to visualise what I've eaten and some of my morning routine. Again, I get stuck in a loop but feel absolutely compelled to do this. Lunch is after 6 pm and I have to visualise what I've eaten and the rest of the evening is free but not much day left before bedtime to start saying my ritualistic prayers and the whole process is repeated all over again for the next day. I feel hopeless to change and have thought about moving out for a month to see if it can help me as I don't have much money. I don't know what I should do to and welcome any advice. Thanks.

Update:

Thanks to all who answered. Thanks for the link regarding anorexia. It is inspiring and thanks for the suggestion of contacts for public aid health. I'm from the UK and am receiving a government benefit, so it is helping financially. I need inpatient treatment but there's a long waiting list and thanks for tip about facing down the ritual behaviours. Its not easy but I will try to tackle it. Just difficult to make 1st step and see a way forward. I know the long prayers aren't helpful!

4 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    I use to have 4 hour panic attacks and also got stuck in a panic loop. 

    What broke me feel of panic attacks/anxiety disorder, I called every panic attacks bluff.

    Meaning if I felt a panic attack coming on I demand to have one because I was "excited by this anxious feeling".

    Bout 4 years later, I say I made a full recovery. 

  • 2 months ago
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    i guess you have not figured out that your prayers do not work . 

  • 2 months ago

    How are you supporting yourself?

    If you are on any form of public aid, I can advise you where to look and who to contact.  But at this point, I feel hospitalization may be best for you.

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