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Is it too much to ask my husband to stop using his phone or walk around when he’s eating alone?

I’ve been suffering from depression & anxiety for years, and also have ADHD. One of the hardest household tasks for me is cooking. It stresses me out so much, and I have to take the anxiety medication every time before I start cooking. Many nights I just cook for my husband and don’t even touch the food (mostly since I’m too tired and/or sick after cooking). My husband loves to use his phone all the time, even while eating. Sometimes he also walks around or just stand in the kitchen while eating, as well. After going through so much stress to prepare his meal, I can’t help but feel sort of disrespected when he does that. I grew up in a culture where we always thank for the food, people who grew the food, and those who cooked the meals. His argument is that he doesn’t have to put down his phone since he’s eating alone, even if I’m in the same room. Am I being too sensitive? Is it too much to ask him to respect the food I prepared and not touch his phone or walk around while eating? Thank you. 

Update:

Thank you so much for answering my questions. I see I’m being unreasonable for asking him to do that...I just feel like he’s not appreciating my effort when he eats like that..but I guess I’m being too sensitive. As for my mental illness, yes they’re diagnosed by doctors. There were times I could not cook at all or have panic attacks when I tried to cook, so I’m doing better than before. I’m a housewife and he works hard to support me so cooking is my responsibility. 

5 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    You are asking about two different issues that are not related to each other.  

    1)  Should your husband sit still and not talk on the phone while eating?  That's his personal choice, dear.  It's not a choice I would make to talk on the phone or walk around while eating.  But nobody can tell him he is wrong, or that it is disrespectful for him to multi-task while he's eating.

    2)  He can't put the phone down long enough to eat dinner?!?!?!?   While there's nothing disrespectful about it, and it shouldn't be a problem for YOU (personally)....

    Your husband has a serious problem with the cell phone.  He is addicted to it.  Just like an addiction to alcohol or cocaine or gambling or sex....his addiction is a cell phone.  He's got a serious problem that he should seek help with.  It's not normal to feel an overwhelming need to be on the phone so much that you can't even EAT without it.  That's sick.

  • 2 months ago

    Have you been seen by a doctor, a professional in helping people with your complex range of symptoms, or are you self diagnosing? Have you sought treatment? Accepted that help, and embraced the need to change? 

    Well past time to get that help, so you can get a grip on that level of anxiety and depression. Skipping meals isn't good for your overall health and may, in fact, indicate your problems are heading to a very dark place. Get professional - and ongoing - help now. Learn new and better ways to deal with your fears, and find out which ones are realistic and which are all a product of your self thinking. I suspect that will help your marriage far more than any other action will. 

  • 2 months ago

    it might be if he has a right to do that

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Something is very very wrong with you 

    if you have to MEDICATE yourself just 

    to cook, regardless of the other issues 

    you are asking us about, you need to 

    address this. Seriously. Seek help.

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  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If cooking is so strenuous and taxing for you, why are you still doing it? Especially if you aren’t eating the food you are preparing? I actually am on his side in the issue you ask about, if he is eating alone then I don’t think there should be an issue with him being on his phone. If the two of you were at the table together and he was ignoring you by being on his phone, that’s rude. But if he’s eating alone you are making a big deal out of it.

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