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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

My mother came to visit and doesn’t want to do ANYTHING ?

I live 20 hours from my family. My mother came to visit finally after both of us have been vaccinated for Covid. I haven’t seen my mom since December 2019. So, she’s here for 2 weeks and she doesn’t want to do ANYTHING. I’m not even talking about going out to eat or anything in crowds I’m talking ANYTHING. She sits from 7AM - 10AM and reads the news on her iPad, then showers, then watches tv until around 4:30 or 5:00 when I cook her dinner. I’ve asked her if she wants to play cards or bake something together or ANYTHING other then sit in front of a tv and all she says is she just wants to relax. I personally can’t sit in front of a TV for an entire 2 weeks straight. Pre Covid we used to do a lot of things I live near 2 major cities so pre Covid there was always things to do. I understand Covid, I understand things are different but I’m not asking her to even leave the house I’m asking her to spend TIME with me. Instead, I took 2 weeks off of work to spend time with her and I’m sitting here on my phone 24/7. I asked her today if she would like to go to the sculpture gardens that are free down the street since it’s beautiful outside “no I just want to relax.” I asked her if she’d like to go for a walk around my neighborhood “No I just want to relax.” I asked her what does she want to do? She said why can’t I just relax and watch tv? I only get 4 weeks vacation. I’m honestly considering going back to work next week! I can’t spend another week doing NOTHING! Any advice?

13 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Yeap, id head back to work

    Id get her some books, puzzles, cards and count the days.

    Id buy food on the way home and enjoy her in the evening with a game and dinner.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't think it's a bad idea to go back to work next week.  People are reacting to this pandemic mess in all sorts of different ways, and it's  possible your mom really needed a change of scenery for her mental health.  When you talk to her, don't be accusatory or frustrated.  You have every right to be annoyed, but it's not because she wants to chill.  It's because she never said anything, knowing (I assume) you were taking vacation time when there was no need.  The communication there was less than optimal!  And if she does start to get a bit bored, you always have this weekend and after work to do something.   

  • 1 month ago

    Call the police

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Go back to work. Visit with her in the evenings when you get home. Make plans for dinner out and if she doesn't want to go, you go ahead.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you should go back to work, she might be paranoid about covid

  • 1 month ago

    Have you noticed any cognitive deterioration as well? Could she be showing any signs of early dementia?  Does she seem depressed? If neither of these seem to apply, leave her alone and go back to work. She probably won't care or notice the difference. Next time you get a vacation opportunity, and if covid permits, take a cruise! Good wishes,

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Old habits die hard and if she's like most of us she's just gotten used to staying home and doing nothing. Could even be she's experiencing some depression like most of the rest of the world is. You can keep trying to coax her out but I wouldn't waste my vacation on this if I could possibly return to work and save my time off for another time. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Did you tell her how you feel?  Tell her you'd like to spend some meaningful time being together that doesn't involve the television.  Don't ask her if she wants to do something, tell her.  "Today we're going to the sculpture gardens.  We leaving in ten minutes."

  • Sandy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    take your mom to see a doctor or Zocdoc her. it sounds like she experiencing depression. the pandemic has made a ton of people behave like your mom. get her some help. and be gentle not judgmental. If she's okay, get her a pet. people are adopting cats and dogs to help them get through this lockdown. Pets take your mind off thing and their antics are hilarious. they're also a reason for you to get up in the morning.

  • Dr. D
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Your mother sounds like she is in poor health. When was the last time she went to the doctor's? If she just wants to relax, then see if she will tell you stories about when she was young. See if she will tell you stories about her family history. Write down some of her stories because they will be all you have once she dies. 

    In the meantime, you don't have to sit all day and "relax" with her. Get out and walk and get a bit of exercise. Chat with your friends on social media or the phone. Try and be creative with you time, but don't force your mother to do anything she isn't comfortable with. Once she is gone you will miss her.

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