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How to reconnect with my dad?
My dad and I have had a bad relationship for practically my whole life. I’m gonna try and refrain from talking trash, as I could be a handful at times, but my father is known for having emotional issues, especially anger and I’ve known him best for his wrathfulness (violence, malicious things to say, etc.) and it’s caused major problems in our lives. However, I feel like there is some good left in him, though over the years he’s become colder to everyone around him. I don’t know why, but I want to rekindle whatever is left of him. I know I can never get around his depression or negativity (he is a nihilist), but I want to do something. Him and I have nothing in common and everytime I bring up something, he’s less than interested. He doesn’t seem to care about anything and has no hobbies. He either works, or sits infront of the tv drinking. I want him to atleast have a few good years in his life and I don’t want to only have bad memories with him. Is there anything I can do to atleast bring some life into him and rekindle our relationship as much as I can?
I don’t mean to sound cold hear, but I don’t know if he’s too far gone or not in his depression to where he is just gonna wallow in his sorrow forever or if he can see the light. He tends to say if he ever does bother talking that there’s nothing that can fix him or his problems.
Also I’m an only child and his wife (my mom) left him. So, he will have nobody once I’m gone and I’m usually on the other side of the house constantly because he is very negative.
- ArcherLv 71 month ago
"You" can't rekindle anything. He has to make the changes. The only life and thought you have control of is yours. Your choice is yours but understand you can only "expect" that which "he" is willing to give.
- PearlLv 71 month ago
i would move out if youre lucky enough to be 18
- Judy and CharlieLv 71 month ago
I hear and understand you.
However, what you are asking for is probably something that YOU, yourself cannot provide. Obviously your father needs treatment for his drinking and depression and he will not seek professional help for this...and sadly, this binds you to him. His wife has left him and so if he does seek treatment and recovers and is happy and productive, you will leave him.
First, I would like to recommend a book for you: ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS. You can buy it on Amazon or your local public library has a copy for you. Read it. You will understand your father's illness and your position much better. Please.
One thing you can do is propose a movie night. Surely there is a subject or an actor whom he is interested in. Then just sit with him. Discuss the movie. Make some popcorn. Even if he is interested in it for a little while, it may give you a topic of conversation is discuss later.
- Pearl LLv 71 month ago
maybe you should talk to him about that