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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

How do I stop allowing my sisters chronic complaining to effect me, and stop responding to it in a way that offends her?

She is always complaining about every little thing! It could be about adding too much or too little pepper to her food! Now before anyone says “that’s easy, stop talking to her” or something, it’s not that easy when it’s someone you love and they are just going through a rough time. I know she will get better. However, today I had enough, for weeks now I have been keeping quiet about my own challenges because I’ve accepted that no one truly helps or supports me. I told her how I genuinely felt about how she is nit the only person who has problems, but I’m not talking about bigger problems.. it’s her chronic complaining about too much or too little salt/pepper on her food, she chipped a nail, she has a headache, the list goes on. And it’s constant! The reason why I’m around is to be with her son/my nephew, so she can have a break! She also nags about the way I help 

Update:

And it’s ridiculous that she is offended about my complaining after it has rubbed off on me. I feel like her negativity is poisoning my spirit & mind!

Update 2:

How can I be strong for her when she is making me weak!?

Update 3:

I need to be strong for myself! I have priorities and responsibilities too! She is NOT the only person in my life who I encourage and support in life. 

4 Answers

Relevance
  • Archer
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you chose, as you seem to be doing to subject yourself to her abuse, why are you here looking for help!

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Stay away, her kid, let her deal with it.   stay far away from her. go live your life for yourself. MYOB

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    just dont be around her

  • 1 month ago

    Has she always been this way? Did she learn it from one of your parents growing up? If so, there might not be much you can do but accept this is the way she is and not take her griping too seriously. Practice saying "Yes, that sucks" or "I know, that's awful" or some variation, for all of her little gripes. Sometimes people just want to vent. 

    If it's something that started recently because she's going through some stressful times - recognize that these insignificant things are not the real issue, the real issue is something that she can't or won't face, so she's taking out her anger or depression on all the little things. 

    Rather than being mad at her for venting while you bottle your feelings up, maybe you need to let her know how you're feeling and what you're going through? Ignoring your own feelings and need for comfort will only make the pressure build up until you snap and it all boils over. Then it will come out in anger - which will feel like an attack to her and not garner the sympathy you might hope for. 

    You don't need to be "strong" for her. You need to be honest. It should be possible for you to support one another, while both having problems, but you need to get honest with yourselves and each other. 

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