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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Is it my place to try and help my sister who is a single mom?

My sister gets help from my dad and me. It has been harder for her during Covid as well. She has a counsellor and still I see her struggle so much. A part of me understands and just supports her with however she chooses to deal with her own life, unless she asks. However, I notice she withdrawals a lot and always chooses cheap thrills to keep her going. I’m going to guess it’s a self esteem issue so I will try to stay out of it or not say much. Sucks seeing her withdraw and get angry and easily closed off so much though. It also sucks to not be able to tell someone cold hard truth about life sometimes. Like how we’re not victims and that we deserve to overcome our life challenges to be able to move forward. She will only accept me if I agree/mirror her or bond over complaining. I can’t be myself around her and part of being me is knowing that sometimes in life we gotta try to be a bit tougher. Stop acting like a victim, stop having our dad come to her rescue so much! She can barely go a few days without my dad or me having to do her dishes and clean her house which is A LOT ! I have my own problems and responsibilities and it bugs me when I find out she talks to low life men and that’s why she withdraws, always on her phone talking to them when her toddler wants her attention and affection 

7 Answers

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  • Archer
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach that man to fish and he can feed a village. It is not your responsibility to provide for an "Adult Sister". You will just be throwing good money after bad and 'enabling her' in her poor choices in life. You have been wrapped around that proverbial finger and are being used. STOP. allow her to do her own cleaning and pull her life together and stop enabling someone who apparently does not even appreciate your efforts.

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It is not your place.  She has to deal with her life, not you.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You should probably talk to your father about him filing to take legal custody of this child. It sounds like your sister is an unfit parent. If she's really as focused on dating and partying as you seem to indicate she may not even fight him on that. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i would help her out

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You and your dad are enabling your sister to continue her helpless act by doing everything forher.  Do you wipe her butt after she poops, too?

  • 1 month ago

    while both you and your dad are willing to bail her out and sort everything out for her then she will have no motivation to change, its time for you and your dad to take a step back and let her make her own mistakes and if no one rushes over to save her then maybe she will eventually take responsibility for her own life.

    if your dad wont step back then you should before she holds you back and screws up your life too

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You need to be proactive in your own healthcare.  You have to step back and let her make her own mistakes.  Why are you cleaning for her?  Concentrate on yourself and back away from the situation.

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